The Evil Geese

This article is meant to be humorous but as in all good humor there has to be some thread of truth. In my area of the country, especially the lake I spend most of my time, the Canadian Geese cover the park with their excraments and also threaten physical harm while I’m paddling. They are a beautiful animal but they are a nuisance and a disgusting health hazard.

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-evidence-reveals-noah-had-regrets-about-letting-geese-board-ark

I’ll take geese over sea lions any time, any place. One thing I learned not to do, though is not to spook a few thousand of them into getting airborne when you’re very close. They will take off in all directions and most of them are loaded with bombs–which they drop. If they miss you on the first pass, they’ll often come back en masse and carpet bomb the area. One of those encounters is enough.

and forget the noise during mating season. No sleep on a five day trip on the Upper Missouri. Goose ought to be supplied to grocery stores.

When I used to live in Rochester, MN (many years ago), there was a park in town with small lake (Silver Lake) - that didn’t freeze fully due to a power plant.
The stupid Canada geese, instead of packing up and flying to warmer climes down south, would stay put all winter (often days of 30 below).
(of course, where I am now (FL), I wish they would all go up there)

As a Canadian, true to stereotypical form: Sorry for “our” geese, eh… Thanks… eh.

I’m not a fan either. I’m often awakened by them in the spring and fall from a nearby pond.

@Sparky961 said:
As a Canadian, true to stereotypical form: Sorry for “our” geese, eh… Thanks… eh.

Going to call ICE and have them all deported back to Canada!! Messy and noisy creatures with terrible toilet habits.

Great idea Rookie. The thought never crossed my mind.

There’s been talk about a cormorant hunt/cull here, but never the geese… Maybe they need to be renamed first - to have no association with Canada.

People who feed geese do not help the situation. They wouldn’t feed them if it were their own yard or pond…

When I was a kid, there were few geese in SC. Now they are everywhere. If I had a lawn on a lake, I would have the biggest goose chasing dog I could find.

I’ve eaten geese but never a Canadian Goose. I wonder if they’re tasty. There’s enough geese in my lake to easily have roast beast everyday.

Swan crap is worse and they are plenty aggressive. But they gather in smaller groups and are pretty so they get away with it.

@DrowningDave said:
I’ve eaten geese but never a Canadian Goose. I wonder if they’re tasty. There’s enough geese in my lake to easily have roast beast everyday.

I’ve eaten Canada geese and I don’t think the taste is affected by the country they call home (That’s a dig against all those people who insist on calling them “Canadian geese” instead of using their actual name, “Canada geese”. It’s not just an error in the choice of words but of basic English grammar).

I apologize if I used the incorrect verbage. I thought this was a paddling site not a classic British literature forum. I’ll have my wife proofread them before hitting “post comment” next time. Thanks for your concerns.

@string said:
When I was a kid, there were few geese in SC. Now they are everywhere. If I had a lawn on a lake, I would have the biggest goose chasing dog I could find.

Don’t mow (and fertilize) down to the lake edge. Leave a buffer (maybe 20 - 30ft.) that is roughish and tall & most of the geese will visit your neighbors.

We don’t have a goose problem. no matter what adjective you use. With shoreland zoning you cannot lawn to waters edge. 100 feet native plant buffer. Love your alders.
Loons and geese do not make good friends.
I have the popcorn out for the grammar contest.

It must be winter.

I need to get outside.

Well, if we want to get really technical the correct name is Branta canadensis
:wink:

Ditto here about the illegality of planting grass down to the shore. Our zoning ordinance states: “Landscaping and Lawns are not considered natural vegetation and shall not be permitted within fifty (50) feet of a Lake or one hundred fifty (150) feet of a lake or stream.”

Not sure what the difference is between “Lake” and “lake”.

Not sure what the difference is between “Lake” and “lake”.

Bad proof reading.