What a piece of junk!

you’re missing an accessory
…for the x ray cameras to find and identify you, you need to purchase the antenna, which will cancel out the effects of your foil beanie.

I used to have a foretrex
…but my parents had it removed

Worth a try
Where can I get that? It doesn’t seem to be sold at my local Wal-Mart.

Changes in latitudes
In order to make the GPS work properly you need to adjust it to the proper latitude. The Jimmy Buffet principle explains this effect and he’s discovered the problem behind your GPS showing you running in place. Clearly he’s referring to the condition you refer to in your OP since he discusses running in his theory. To solve the problem you merely need to change your latitude which will result in a corresponding change in your attitude towards the GPS. Since the theory is complex it is often useful to consume a few mararita’s while studing it’s effect.





“It’s these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes

Nothing remains quite the same

With all of our running and all of our cunning

If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane”

L
Doh…

is this a quiz ?
I am assuming from the brand (Garmin) you are talking about a GPS based unit. If you are not moving, you shouldn’t expect it to calculate velocity.

Holy cr@p
I know it’s a message board and something get’s lost in the translation from the written word. But has our nation become so focused that we can’t tell a joke when we seen one!



Dude where’s Coffee when you need him.

Randy

if you can’t find the foil beanie

– Last Updated: Aug-05-08 12:31 PM EST –

at your local Wal-Mart, try covering your pith helmet with Reynolds Wrap Release and form a swan antenna on top. You know, like they do when you take home food from a fancy restaurant.
Shine on, Kaps

Are you
pointing it at the satellites the proper way? I have a Garmin E-trex Legend and I’ve found that if I don’t point it right at the satellites it won’t work…and make sure you do it during day light hours while they’re still visible…

Perhaps it’s calibrated in
inches per minute. Put it on your back during sex and see if it records.



G_K

LMFAO
I don’t think Wal Mart has ever even considered selling foil beanies, as Wal-Mart stores are built with giant foil beanie roofing systems to protect the general populace.

Heard a rumor…

– Last Updated: Aug-05-08 3:50 PM EST –

Heard a rumor that aliens are stealing aluminum & copper parts from some of the satellites. May be affecting some of the satellite's functions?

The gray ones are some theiving little bast..ds.

I bought a new Garmin Pretext.
I assume it is working correctly.
It gives the appearance of quality.
Haven't tried the cloaking feature yet.

:^)

BOB

problem
you have to hold the face of the device perfectly perpendicular to Garmin’s stationary satellite. You should have received a 10" brass sextant with your purchase and if not, contact Garmin immediately.

Mine works fine…
“Obviously NOT made for the serious multi-sport athlete”



That is funny a “serious multi-sport athlete” that sits indoors on a stationary bike & a treadmill… HAHAHAHAHAHA!



If you were “serious” and an actual “multi-sport athlete”, you would be outside & more than just running and biking.



Go outdoors & it should work just fine.



Paddle easy,



Coffee

On my back!?
But I’m usually on the bottom …

Maybe it’s
multi-sport resistant.



G_K

Think harder!
Did you attach the required satellite dish? Good lord, how do you expect the electro-bits will make it up into space without the required 8 foot antenna and tracking system?



Sheesh!



Phreon

Sell
Since I don’t go anywhere,just to help you out,I would be willing to give you half price for it. At least you would get some of your money back

Return it for the Garmin Forehead 666
Stick it on your forehead and it’ll implant a sense of speed in your mind. Want to go faster, just think harder and the Garmin Forehead will implement a sense of speed.



Jay

Attach it to
your foot. Then it’ll read something!