interesting you should say that …
a month after the incident, i e:mailed Nigel and sent him the story. to be honest, i was hoping he’d send me a new boat. he never even responded and i had to spend the full monty on a new one.
Erie Canal 2001
Had to be the year for crazy.
First I’m doing a very early morning paddle heading twd. the canals terminus with the Niagara River …has to be maby 5:45 and I’m passing one of the many yachts tied up in the cities of ton./north ton. and onto the deck comes this stunning blond…with nary a stitch on top and a cup of coffee in her hand.
She looks at me…I look at her at which point she screams,tosses the coffee and runs back inside and I can hear this guy loudly laughing as she’s yelling This ain’t funny.
Fast Fwd. It’s now late september and a lot of the folks who came up from virginia and the carolinas and florida are heading their boats (these things are like floating large mobile homes in size and amenities)east down the canal and I’m once again out paddling heading east twd. the locks of lockport.
(Now, my america is red with green shamrocks painted. on it -which,despite all the writeups to the contrary,have lasted these many years so yes, it stands out)
Boats are passing in a fairly regular pattern and from the rear quarter I hear this LOUD whistle (the kind one makes putting the fingers in the mouth)and I rotate a bit to see whats what and there…on the deck of the same yacht is the blond with her husband/boyfirend(?) who flashes me and yells…“see Ya next year”…
Strange tale 2…Had a female mallard duck who used to hop in the large cockpit f the america and,merrily quacking away, ride about a mile up the canal with me every morning I paddled then jump out and fly back to the group.
wow
I’d love to see that picture if you have it scanned.
no longer have it.
they sent me hard copies and i had no scanner, so they never made it to the computer. ultimately, they’ve disappeared.
Naked stories
The naked lady story reminds me of one that happened to me, but not paddling, though related.
Many times I paddle after work. One hot summer morning on a day I was planning to go out after work, I wake up and before I hit the shower I go out to load the boat. No sense getting dressed for work and then break a sweat lugging the boat around the house, right? TMI, I know, but I sleep in the buff. My house is hidden by foliage, so I just slip on some flip flops, go out back and grab the boat and carry it around front to the truck. It’s 6:30 a.m., I hear a car roaring down the driveway, and I’m thinking, “who the f…?” Can’t really see because my head is under the boat. The car pulls up, I hear the brake set and the door open. It was a guy from the power company, come to read the meter. I bid him a cheery “g’ morning,” got a sheepish “morning” in response, and it seemed to me his pace quickened as he dashed around to the side of the house where the meter is. There’s a memory I’m sure he wishes he could forget.
~~Chip Walsh, Gambrills, MD
Otter vs Gator
I was paddling the okeefeenokee swamp in S. GA with a group and we’d been followed by a couple of river otters all day long. Suddenly, we heard a commotion and looked up to see an otter and baby alligator wrestling for a few seconds on the surface of the water. One of my friends paddled over as if to break it up (I’m not sure what she was thinking).
We got back to the state park and retold the story to a ranger. She went on to explain that the otters loved to pick on the baby alligators.
Had a Perception WW boat in the 80’s
I was paddling in an old gravel pit that had been turned into a park. Practicing rolls, braces, etc. I was sitting still out in the middle at least 200 feet from any shore and leaning back against the rear deck to take a rest. Suddenly there were three hard thumps on the bottom of the boat. I looked around expecting to find someone in another boat messing with me. No one else on the lake! Not even a ripple on the water. I was spooked. Next day the papers said there had been a mild earthquake in the New Madrid fault at that same time. No one in our area felt it on land.
Pat 2
Alty
Paddling into a swamp off the Altamaha river (south Georgia), alone, and taking in the beauty. Then , something huge falls into the water with a thunderous crash. Yea, I got out of there pretty quick.
Two Stories
Getting trapped in a tree in an almost 18’ flood:
http://www.geocities.com/paddlinhal/Pemmi/pemmigewassett.htm
Not one of my better evenings!!
Since there some nudie stories…I put in on the Contoocook and paddled under the railroad bridge out onto the Merrimack and there on river left were two teenage girls on the bank in the buff. One went running into the trees and the other stood there bold as could be, not bothering to cover up at all, and wished me a good paddle! I fell in love with her and to this day still love her! Wish I knew her name!
dougd
Almost forgot the BEAR
Wallkill River, coming around a bend near the NY/NJ border and look over to see a large Black Bear on the shoreline, just moseying on along without casting even a glance my way. Got my heart pumping all right and I picked up the pace a little.
cooldoctor1
I’ll do better than give you the coordinates. If you want naked people overload just paddle down to Gunnison Beach in Sandy Hook on any summer weekend. It’s a legal clothing optional beach. Their motto is “Go naked or go home.” On an average weekend day there are over 5000 people on that beach. Everything from drop dead gorgeous to get out of the way you’re blocking the sun. There’s even a straight section and a gay section. Something for everybody. If you go you’ve got to get naked or you’ll stand out from the crowd. It’s an entertaining place. Between the snake woman, an attractive blond wearing only a Boa, constrictor that is, the volly ball, and the nude body painting I guarantee you won’t be bored. Not to mention the side show of boats, jet skis, and low flying planes. A morning spent paddling the bay and afternoon on the beach could be considered time well spent. If nothing else, you have some interesting stories for Monday morning.
Not crazy but kinda weird
A lot of my kayaking is done at a nearby lake (in NW Wisconsin) which is small and mostly surrounded by woods but with a handful of houses along its shores. The largest house is home to a family with a bunch of kids. There must be at least one teenage boy in the family who has to show off his woofers or the strength of his amps or something by blasting LOUD music out across the lake every so often.
One evening I was out for a paddle as the sun was sinking in the west, the water was like glass, and I was having a peaceful time watching the loons swim and dive and listening to them calling. Then all of a sudden, the music started, booming out from the shore, engulfing everything. But, this time, it was that album of Spanish monks singing Gregorian chants. So, as I was paddling around, this ethereal music was playing, like I was in some ancient cathedral… the loons were wailing….the sky turning orange in the sunset. It was eerie.
Learn your lines
"Thanks, you’ve already made it a great paddle!"
filming…?
OldBill,
D’you suppose maybe the History Channel was filming something? Ya’ could have made your film debut…
Can’t pick ONE, but…
This one comes close. The following year’s tidal bore run was even wilder.
http://www.paddling.net/places/showReport.html?252
Have a few…
But this one is quick, as I’m off to paddle in a few minutes.
One early summer morning, while kayaking a local creek, our boats were hit repeatedly by fish. Fish bounced off the sides of our boats, and jumped OVER our bows and sterns. No kidding. Then a fish jumped into a friend’s Prijon and flopped around energetically by her thighs and feet. She freaked. Another paddler quickly “fished” the fish out of her boat before she tipped over with her own flailing.
paddling with Flatpick a few years ago
Craziest thing was paddling with Flatpick a few years ago. This was my first venture into performance paddling and it was an experience of a lifetime.
I snatched the following from a trip report I did years ago on PDX Seakayakers listserver.
*****************************
Trip/Training Report April 10-12, 2004
Good day all, well it’s with elation that I write up my trip report from
this past weekend. Just recently did I take up some advanced instruction
and I’m astonished how quickly it’s changing my abilities to paddle. Last
week I went through my “level 3” assessment and this last weekend, I got a
significant taste of “level 4 (4+) training”. Simply put, AMAZING.
My timing on involvement was fortuitous because it just so happened the same
weekend as my level 4 training (AOC = Advanced Open Coastal), just happened
to coincide with several instructors working toward higher certifications
themselves. What this meant was I had an abundance of very capable and
experienced instructors in the group. I took the opportunity to question
them, glean what I could and even try to emulate them (I think Karl
Andersson got tired of my paddling on his tail, trying to emulate his
impeccable forward stroke, thanks Karl ).
Aside from a flailed attempt at East Winds of the Columbia River Gorge last
winter, this was my first exposure to level 4 venues. The environment was
new to me and I must be honest, quite intimidating. The first exposure to
this environment for me was part of my “self discovery”. I was more worried
about self-preservation than enjoyment of the natural beauty around me. I
look forward to the next trip, because I’ll be able to take so much more
into account.
Friday night a group of 15 paddlers met at a rental property in historic
Fort Columbia. The fort is at the mouth of the Columbia River in Washington
State. The house was amazing. I expected to be crowded but in hindsight we
easily could have housed double that number. (Thanks to Kirti Walpole for
arranging the lodging and logistics).
The group consisted of many paddlers I’ve become quite close with and others
that I’ve wanted to paddle with for some time now. In no particular order,
the following paddlers participated; Wade Norton, Steve Scherrer, AJ
Mallory, Sandy Giltinan, Ginni Callahan, Jim Green, Jeff Norville, Karl
Andersson, Bob Haley, Debbie Scarcia, Russ Watt, Jon & Kirti Walpole, Neil
Schulman and Sam Hass. Anyone familiar with this list of elite paddlers can
easily see I was the least experienced paddler in the group. A bit
intimidating but it put me in a favorable learning environment and I took
full advantage of it.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but the training was highly organized
and the instructors were well prepared. Training venue changed each day (I
want to know how they arranged that ). It varied from high winds, small
manageable surf, easy swells, rain, wind, sunshine, to large swell, and
large surf, (my choice of words, they might feel differently. I insist the
swell was 40 ft, no, make that 80 ft high , they tried to convince me
it was more like 4-6 (VHF radio forecast was 8 ft.) ), simply put
“knarly”.
Some high level overview of some criteria; boat and equipment, effective use
of strokes and maneuvers in a level 4 environment, rolls, re-enter and roll,
eddy management, efficient wind conditions (following seas, into wind,
sideways to wind, self and towing), surf, surf landing, surf launching,
rescues and recovery (damn, that Steve Scherrer needs to learn to stay in
his boat ), night paddling and navigation and so much more.
Day one we launched at the boat ramp and headed down the channel. After
passing the Coast Guard station (comforting to know they were close by )
we followed our leader Ginni to the mouth or the river and specifically the
end of Jetty A. We rounded Jetty A and grouped up on the backside. Without
a doubt some of the most lumpy water I’ve experienced and Steve Scherrer
addressing the group stated, “welcome to level four”. Well it was clear at
that point; this was going to be an exciting weekend. Jon broke the group
into smaller pods and we headed out into the tidal race at the end of the
Jetty. This was my first experience with a tidal race and quite frankly the
thought of intentionally paddling into this monster was enough to tense up
every muscle in my body. Ginni got the unenviable task of being my partner
for this first exercise, she was fantastic. She comforted me and provided
some great insight. When she instructed me to spin 360 degrees while not
loosing ground in the rushing water, I was apprehensive but with her
encouragement, I was able to accomplish it. I also found it interesting
that a bit later in the same race or strong current Jon prompted me to do a
wet exit, re-enter and roll. I made the roll. Jon found it necessary to
peel off to help another paddler so he told me to attach my spray skirt
without pumping the cockpit full of water and wait for him to return. While
sitting there with a boat full of water wasn’t the best scenario, I was
surprised to find I was able to surf the standing waves and hold my
position, even while the strong current was rushing underneath me. Ginni
returned to assist me, bilge pumped the water and away we went.
Following the playful exercises in the tidal race we headed for Dead Man’s
Cove. Fun location for a lunch break and some tutoring on wave structure
before heading to Wakiki Beach for our first attempts at surf play.
Following lunch and before leaving Dead Man’s Cove we used the incoming
swell as a fun venue for rescue practice. More rolls, re-enter and rolls,
assisted re-entries, tows and other rescues (did I mention this training
would be much easier if someone taught Steve Scherrer how to stay in his
boat? Not only would he purposely fall out of his boat so we’d have to
rescue him, he would always do so right along the barnacle incrusted rocks
in heavy swells/waves. I began to beg people not to make eye contact with
Steve. I knew that would only encourage him to fall out of the boat ).
Off we went for my first exposure to surf. We paddled up to the backside of
the breaking surf and my stomach was lodged in my throat. Intrepidly I took
my turn and headed into the beach. I was pleasantly surprised that I
reached the beach without incident (at least this time ). Once all
paddler were on the beach our instructors provided addition tutoring,
encouragement and most importantly acted as our “training wheels” to give us
a “seat in the boat” feel of the surf zone. I found this training to be
spectacular because it took the entire mystic out of the surf zone. After a
bit of coaching we all started paddling in and out of the surf. After a bit
(and chewing my share of sand) we were getting more and more comfortable
with the surf.
Day two was a completely different scenario. The wind had kicked up
significantly. As stated earlier, I don’t know how the instructors were
able to plan that . We headed up to the Astoria Bridge where we played
in the river eddies above the bridge as well as behind the stanchions of the
bridge. We then headed down river with the following seas helping to push
us along. Upon reaching Sand Island the group stopped for lunch. Following
our lunch break the group separated with one group headed to the boat ramp,
one group headed to Ilwaco port (for departure back to Portland) and the
remaining 9 paddlers staying on Sand Island. We used the high winds, and
waves created by the wind to practice paddling scenarios in the wind. We
paddled into, away from and across the winds. We did more rescues and some
towing exercises. Upon completion of these exercises we headed back to Sand
Island to setup a comfortable camp in the protection of the trees. We
started a fire and shared stories and prepared our dinners.
After dark set in we prepared for my first surf launch IN THE DARK! I
thought it was much easier than I expected until the third wave hit me right
in the chest. That was startling when you can’t see the waves coming. What
a great experience that was. From there I did my assigned part of
navigating/leading the group to the mouth of the channel, using specific
lights in the channel and the Cape Disappointment lighthouse as my ranges.
From there Kirti and AJ navigated the rest of the way up the channel until
reaching our take out point in Ilwaco.
Day three was without a doubt the most adrenaline filled of the weekend. We
set out near the Coast Guard station again and we were amused at their
response when we notified them we were headed out to sea. I’m sure they
were questioning our motives and to cap it off, one of their patrol boats
indicated they’d be monitoring the radio and standing by for us. I think
they expected they’d be rescuing us a bit later in the day .
After reaching Jetty A Jon and Steve asked us to hold our position while
they head out to the tidal race to check conditions. Upon returning they
expressed concern about it being a level 5 venue and they weren’t sure they
were going to make it back to our side of the jetty. You can imagine what
effect that had on my mind , can you say, “Pucker power” . As a
group, we did a difficult landing on the boulders of Jetty A and climbed the
rocks to scout out the backside. Following that came the difficult task of
launching from that same difficult landing. Off we went to venture into the
rushing water/waves of the tidal race. After huddling up in the eddy on the
backside Jon split the group into pairs and we then headed back into the
race for rescue practice, tow practice and just playing and surfing in the
waves (hair raising for me, and everyone else enjoyed it ). Big
thanks to my buddy Russ for rescuing me when I was role-playing an injured
victim out of my boat. It’s not easy to do a scoop rescue on a “big boy”
. Nicely done!!
We then headed off to Dead Man’s Cove. On the way over we followed some of
the cliffs and played a bit in the reflecting waves. At one point I could
only see three things, the rock cliff on my right, the massive wall of water
on my left and the back of AJ’s boat in front of me. AJ had a fun smirk on
his face when he looked back into my expression of panic . Now keep in
mind that I experienced Dead Man’s Cove two days earlier, well I assure you
this was a completely different place. After gingerly planning my entry
into the cove and landing, my mind began to ask, “how the hell am I going to
get out of here.” .
We enjoyed lunch and stories, Steve rummaged through the driftwood and found
some plastic drums so we had an impromptu drum playing session. Then it was
off to Wakiki Beach for more surfing. Well leaving Dead Man’s Cove was an
interesting experience for me. I was happy just to break through or up and
over each passing wave. Steve, Jon and AJ opted to stay at the mouth and
just play a bit. Russ reminded me that outside the breakers we were in safe
water. He was right, I was happy being in this “safe place” but to put it
into perspective, this “safe place” was rougher than any water we
experienced on day 1 or 2. (Someone remind me to hurt Russ sometime ).
Arriving at the beach we again navigated our course in the surf and I made a
few successful landings. I have to admit I also made a few non-successful
landings .
At the end of the three-day session I was absolutely wore out. This morning
I’m sitting here with every muscle in my body sore, but please don’t anyone
tell my instructors . I don’t want them to know they got the best of
me .
To summarize, this was an incredible opportunity. The training was stellar,
the instructors were well prepared, educated and experienced and they
provided a level of training only a few weeks ago I dreamed about. Being as
we had significant changes in conditions, Steve & Jon jokingly said I was on
the “fast track” for training. Truth is, I was a gracious and willing victim
that got lucky enough not to embarrass myself too much .
The training was valuable and it increased my confidence as a paddler on an
amazing scale. I’ve said it before but I’d highly encourage others to seek
out qualified training, you’ll be happy you did (as will your paddling
buddies). If you live in the Pacific Northwest, I’d HIGHLY RECOMMEND and
ENDORSE the Alder Creek training program. Good job guys and thanks again
for bringing me home in one piece .
Wade Norton
-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-
A solitary drop of water is inherently weak. But when thousands
run together, the combined power can carve a mountain in half.
-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-
Wade Norton - http://home.comcast.net/~wade.norton/index.htm
thanks for the stories everyone!
I’m sensing a couple of themes:
Sex, Blondes, exotic animals and wayward boats with a mind of there own.
Great stories guys!
The head first into the cockpit rescue got an especially good laugh from me.
D
Almost and animals
My two “almost” stories with animals don’t have paddling in them, but here they are anyway:
Walking down a sandy path on Caladesi Island in Florida I subconsciously stopped in mid-stride. I stepped back and saw a 4’ rattlesnake laying across the path where I had been going to step. I backed up some more and persuaded it to move on with a few thrown pebbles.
Mountain biking in Florida, I came down this dirt road and a big ole gator was laying across the road sunning. Fortunately, he decided to move on once he spotted me.
- Jasen.
Kayaking nude with others
Want to get with some open minded attractive kayakers who enjoy soaking up the sun and being nude… I know there has to be others who would like to have some outdoor no strings attached sexual adventures out on the river in the sunshine… Makes my cock hard thinking about it so come join in…