Fake Reviews on Pnet

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I never look at reviews anymore.
I have little doubt that the vast majority of the reviewers are rookie paddlers, first boat owners, and those trying to win a prize. In short, most of them don’t have the slightest idea what they’re talking about.
Some of the reviewers are trying to convince themselves they got a great boat for 200 bucks, and it will do anything they want; paddle on a city lake, a great lake, ocean, easy river, or whiteater. Pure BS!

Over the years I have owned, at minimum, 40 different canoes. I still own about 20 of them.
I have paddled at least 50; probably more.
I have a pretty good idea of what suits me; if I have any doubts about a specific canoe, I’ll find one, and test paddle it. Doesn’t take me very long to figure out whether it’s a boat I like, one that fits my needs, and will use on a regular basis, or just occasionally. Sometimes I buy a boat because I know the price is right, and I can do a little clean up/restoration, and flip it for a profit…which I’ll use to buy more boats.

I don’t buy new boats; I already have the boats I want/need; no thanks to reviews from any website.
Have you ever read a poor review on the website of any canoe or kayak company? All of the ones I’ve ever read are for “great boats”. Every boat they make is a great boat? Much like the vast majority of great boats in the reviews here…in my opinion.
Sure, there are a lot of great boats out there, but they are few, and far between…again, in my opinion.

Don’t believe everything you see, hear, or read!!!
Never buy a boat based on a review; don’t be lazy, do some research.
See if you can figure out which one of the boat’s pictured is a 5, and which is a 0…


Rival by Dagger Canoes

It’s the opposite with many other items for sale on the net. The only people that post reviews are people that are pissed off about something. A good percentage of these people didn’t know what they were buying or were incompetent in the way they used it.

Once people have experience it is mostly obvious.

The “party barge” I’d rate a 1 on a scale of 1 to 100; 100 being a perfect boat.
The Dagger Rival I’d rate an 84 on a scale of 1 to 100. One of the best whitewater solos ever made in my opinion.

I’d take the party barge if someone gave it to me; sell it for the best offer I could get, buy the Rival, and put what’s left over in the bank :stuck_out_tongue:.


I agree about the reviews not being specific to the way the boat was intended to be used. Reviews would be much more valuable if there were categories of paddling that compares boats in context using standard rating criteria.

The challenge would be deciding what categories of canoes and kayaks to include and what criteria to use for rating . There are almost as many categories as there are canoe and kayak manufacturers and the criteria will vary depending on the intended use.


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It would be possible to make the review form with items that must be filled out. How long have you owned the X. How many hours have you used X. What type of paddling did you do? (with a drop down, none yet, lake, pond, river, river tripping, river whitewater, camping ect)
I have read them, and the ones that say “I just ordered it and I think it will be …” are useless.

I haven’t been on here long and I haven’t noticed any Ford v. Chevy v. Dodge, but yes there are some sketchy reviews. I recently upgraded my review of my Dagger Reflection 16 after I had more hours on it. So, yeah, I did a snap judgement review and my review was not initially awesome enough for the boat. But it’s not like I’m going to make money or sell canoes because of it. I’ll just say this thread has me hesitating to review the other canoe I purchased (but I did 3.5 miles upstream and 3.5 down this morning and it was AWESOME! ) (That’s for Willowleaf, who knows what boat I mean, lol). This is a great site and a great resource. I had no trouble sorting through the reviews and dumping conflicting info. If you make the reviews too strict and geeky, people will spend less time reading them.
Give everyone a turn with the talking stick.

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Yes, you can sort through the reviews! It isn’t that hard to reject reviews that are from inexperienced newbies - most ‘parents’ are enamored with their new ‘babies’ no matter how ugly.


I’ve been guilty of an overzealous review when I was a newbie. If I had a shiny new toy it might happen again. Hard to be objective when you’re excited about a new purchase. Takes me about a season to really figure a boat out. At that point I wouldn’t bother writing a review.

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This week’s New Yorker magazine has the Sea God Poseidon’s reviews of the various watercraft that voyage through his watery realms, rating them from one to 5 tridents.


For eons, men have traversed my roiling waters in their puny vessels. Although I’m both feared and revered as the Lord of the Sea (and also of earthquakes, storms, and, of course, horses), no one ever stops to ask, “Hmm, I wonder what Poseidon has to say about all these little boats attempting to cross His mighty domain?”

Well, I’ve got some opinions—opinions to be expressed here, in Poseidon’s Waterlogged Boat Blog, which I (Poseidon) will update regularly. Thanks for reading, but don’t correct my grammar, lest I strike ye down in a whirling rage with briny bilge and orca innards!


This nomenclature would be like me, Poseidon, calling myself a “powerman.” True power is having a 2006 Josh Lucas film named after you.

Rating: :trident: [one out of five tridents]

Jet Ski

The perfect boat . . . for gliding away from your responsibilities, ​ Triton .​ (My son Triton still lives at home.) I’m sorry—I promised myself that I wouldn’t let the boat blog become a place where I just vent about Triton. This is the last time I’ll mention him. From here on out, it’s strictly boats.

Rating: :trident: :trident:


These crafts are skulking cowards, not unlike my son Triton. Always slinking about in Davy Jones’s Locker (my basement). I let him live rent-free in my golden underwater palace, and he drags his heels across the ocean’s depths, listening to self-care audiobooks. I don’t care what anyone says—“the doldrums” is not a medical condition.

Rating: :trident:

Sea-Doo 2020 Personal Watercraft

Saw this snappy vehicle sailing through the waters just the other day. Thought to myself, What brung ye here, snappy thing? Decided that I wanted to keep it for myself, so I tossed its wailing captain into a watery grave, where the harpies got him.

Rating: :trident: :trident: :trident: :trident:


For ten long years, I, the Dread Emperor, made Odysseus’ life hell and kept him from his family, all because he wouldn’t let my large son Polyphemus eat him. Polyphemus, now there’s a son! So large, so hungry, with his own cave and everything. Anyway, I find yachts a bit showy.

Rating: :trident: :trident:


I burned my trident-gripping hand on one of these—not on the boat itself, but on the steam. No one told me about the hot steam! These are the things you don’t learn when you spend your childhood among a flock of lambs, hidden from your son-hungry father. I would have LOVED to have cushy accommodations in a golden underwater palace and a famous-writer father with a well-trafficked boat blog on the verge of corporate sponsorship.

Rating: :trident:


Flat-bottomed, plankton-encrusted, and self-propelled. One of those adjectives does not describe my son Triton. Can you guess which one?

Rating: :trident: :trident: :trident:

Carnival Ocean Liner

For a long time, I thought that this was a garish whale. I was, like, O.K., that whale is floating atop the brine? Which I did not sanction? Then I realized that it wasn’t a whale, but a large boat featuring a massive water slide. Lo, I intend to lop off that water slide via a brutal nor’easter wind. It’ll slice through the air with the precision of a Joe’s Crab Shack sous-chef, striking down the passengers, mid-revelry. I dare any of my readers to conjure a crueler punishment for hubristic passengers of the god-defying, water-slided mega-cruise! FOR TEN PER CENT OFF AT JOE’S CRAB SHACK, USE PROMO CODE WHYTRITON.

Rating: :trident: :trident: :trident: :trident:

Lifeboats and Kayaks


Rating: :trident: :trident: :trident: :trident: :trident:


I agree. As someone that has purchased a few kayaks in the past several years, and am currently working on spending for some accessories that are quite expensive for me, I read almost every review I come across. I feel comfortable in discerning what information I myself get out of a particular review and simply like seeing many opinions rather than just a little feedback from one or two “experts”, or just relying on manufacturer reviews.

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I can almost always get a feel for the reviewer from reading the reviews. No need to over complicate things.

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Now here’s a real review …

"Just got this board this past weekend and took it out for the first time. Loved everything about it except for blowing it up. I saw someone mention buying a pump and I looked at several over the weekend but could not find one with a suitable connector. Anyone have any direct knowledge of a electric or battery pump that might work? Pros Everything about it. Very easy to get inflated and to use. Cons Having to pump manually Usage Excercise and touring.

Had to laugh at this …
“Cons Having to pump manually Usage Excercise and touring.”