I seldom paddle on the gigantic lake close to where I live anymore, although I did quite a lot in years past.
The number of off shore racing boats, smaller high powered boats, pontoon boats, motorized jon boats, and jet skis has grown dramatically over the past 10 years.
Now I feel like I’m risking my personal safety by attempting to paddle on the lake in a canoe.
The vast majority of the people using the aforementioned craft are drunk, or have been drinking or doping. they’re going too fast, and many of them attempt to pass by you as close as possible (on purpose & at high speed) with the goal of capsizing you. They have never accomplished that, but multiple attempts by multiple boats or jet skies gets to be a huge hassle & puts your personal safety at risk. More that a few of their attempts almost resulted in them hitting my boat. I gave up paddling on the lake closest to me; way too much hassle, and way too risky. Too many fools, drunks & dopers out there. One canoe I purchased was from a lake home owner after he had been capsized on purpose and on numerous occasions by power boaters. He had mistakenly attempted to fish from the canoe, an Old Town Discovery 17 footer.
Same thing on rivers I used to paddle frequently. You now have to deal with masses of small jon boat with big motors; seemingly designed for one purpose (get from point A to point B real fast) with bikini babe on a towel on the boat deck. They zoom upstream drinking, they zoom downstream drinking, and then they congregate & virtually cover up all the nice gravel bars and drink some more. Boom boxes set on 10. About an hour before sundown they disappear. The people who used to use jon boats with small motor to fish have basically given up. Many of the people who used to canoe & camp on the rivers have given up. Too many fools, drunks & dopers (river dorks) who are fleeing the larger cities and renting canoes have clogged the rivers on weekends. Rafts, and inflatable style boats? have been added to the mix in the last 5 years. The boat/rafts renters intentions appear to be to get wet, get loud & get drunk or stoned. Hint:You can do that at home in a kiddie pool, and save yourself the cost of vehicle gas, campground fees, and boat rental. Some travel in packs; clogging up every bend in the river, and create an obstacle course for others who can actually paddle… The river dorks have no paddling skills; are constantly ramming other boats, capsizing, running into/under strainers, boulders, the river banks, and getting jammed up where only minor obstacles exist. Their are typically several groups of males who are totally blitzed(drunk &/or stoned) by mid afternoon, and each of those groups has or two or three members who are looking for a fight with someone/anyone. Some instances of the dorks intentionally hands on capsizing of others in canoes; people that they don’t know. Public urination with no attempt to avoid others from seeing them; sometimes done in groups. I’ve seen some instances of rock fights, or the throwing of rocks or sticks by people on shore at people on the river; people they don’t know. I have noticed a dramatic decrease in the number of family groups paddling the rivers in canoes. Taking your teenaged daughter &/or wife into that environment is not even something I would consider. They are likely to hear multiple obscene suggestions, and comments.
Mardi Gras bead were actually banned on some rivers, due to the number of drunks offering beads to those who would “show us your t—!” What are you, the husband/father supposed to do? Smile & ignore the comments to your wife or daughter? Object to the comments & get your assed kicked by 3 or 4 drunks? Or maybe just stay home on the weekends or give up canoeing altogether.Much of the latter is occuring.
River rangers; way too few to monitor so many people, on so many miles of river.
On occasion they actually gather park rangers, city police, county sheriff deputys, highway patrol and conservation agents in a task force in attempts to control the river dorks drunkeness, doping, and aggressiveness.
The weekend passes; the drunks & dopers go back to the rock they crawled out from under; leaving the bottom of the rivers paved with empty beer cans. Usually Bud Light by the way…
The new way to paddle; paddle in the off season(note difference in summer & fall at same put in photos), or stay home on the weekend, avoid holiday weekends like the plague and only paddle on weekdays.
You’re not retired? You can only go on the weekend? Get ready to deal with the river dorks, drunks and dopers.
Thank God I can paddle on week days; I’ve had it with the river dorks, drunks and dopers who are out there on the summer weekends. I don’t need the noise, the crowds or the hassles that they create.
Not long ago a good friend and I picked up 2 large trash bags full of litter, beer cans, wine & wine cooler bottles off of just one gravel bar. That was my last effort to pick up trash on any river. When you see one couple load a case of beer into their cooler before they cast off; you can be pretty sure their major concern is NOT paddling…
The very liberal thinking wife of one of my long time friends used to tell me, “Bob, we have to learn to share the rivers and the lakes”.
They don’t paddle the rivers or lakes anymore on weekends.
The last time I spoke to her I said, “So much for sharing the river & lakes with river dorks, out of control drunks & dopers eh?”
It’s only going to get worse…
BOB
P.S. ATVs, and horseback trail riders going off the designated trails, driving ATVs in the river, and tearing up & trashing the forests alongside the Ozarks Scenic Riverways are other issues I won’t even go into. Their preference also appears to be Bud Light.
