Oh, yes, indeed
That would be the person whom I just KNOW is going to drag my boat instead of sharing lifting duty with me.
Ouch
Yup, that’s offputting for sure. Politely decline and move on…
I get what you mean by the male biases, in another way, too. Upon seeing my husband and me preparing to launch, people tend to assume that he is the one “in charge” of the paddle plans, more skilled, etc etc. It does not help that he likes to play up to this bias and play big shot. Of course, that falls apart really fast if the conditions are right 
Offer Often
I’ve offered help to livery owners in the past as I’m loading to help them get folks on the river. I’ve offered help to solo canoe folks, I’ve offered help with beasts of canoes (I have one!). It doesn’t hurt to ask regardless of gender. My friend often help me due to a series of injuries in my past and I never decline but I always like to extend the offer. It just seems to be the thing to do and like Jack L I was raised that way. Manners were a mainstay in my upbringing. To have someone say no is all good as well.
dougd
why assume negative motives?
I get offered help with lifting/carrying all the time, even by some who know I am able and my canoe only weighs about 45 lbs. And I offer the same to others regardless of gender. It’s what we do.
I have been called “sweetie” by unfamiliar women many times and observed it as a mere figure of friendly speech. I know it’s often common in the reverse with no negative intentions.
Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.
If everyone could stop being offended by everything, that would be great.
I’m a solo male
I was on an organized river float by myself but with one of the last groups to launch. I’m only 43, cycle almost daily, and may be a fat ***, but I’m able to hold my own with the kayak. I load it on top of a car with foam blocks so I have to basically lift it over my head and place it down rather lightly with the blocks at the edge of the roof. The biggest problem is wind and the blocks blowing off seems just as I get the boat over my head.
Anyways, I got ahead of the group I was paddling near and caught up to two older 60ish women in a canoe. They invited me to hang out and float with them. We got to the end and it was a muddy mess where we were pulling out and you had to climb a muddy bank.
Here’s the thing. Two days before I had twisted my knee at work that I could barely walk. I was getting out of the boat basically on one leg because I couldn’t use the other with the excruciating pain of the twisted knee. I was getting out just after the two ladies in the canoe got up the bank. It was embarrassing, but they saw me struggling as I slipped and slid basically just with one leg trying to get my kayak up the bank. They came down and grabbed it for me and pulled it up.
Have to say, it was very much appreciated.
I don’t see a whole lot of solo folks when I’m out. I did see one lady coming in after me a few weekends ago and I was going to ask if she needed help after I got mine up out of the water. By the time I had turned around though, she had tossed that thing up on her shoulder with one hand like it was nothing and was halfway across walking to her vehicle. It was a skin on frame, probably weighed 25 lb and she carried it with one hand while carrying her gear with the other, LOL. So I just proceeded to hoist my 51 lb kayak up on my shoulder and walk to the car. Not a big deal hoisting it up, but about halfway to the car, I’m usually ready to just toss it on the ground and drag it, LOL.
Had another time, my first time in the boat, when I was ready to get in. I was very unsteady ready to just tip over when an older gentleman who was sitting watching the bald eagle got up and came over to hold it steady while I was getting in. That was much appreciated.
Beautifully stated, Sing
We dance to the same music.
Good answer
Going Solo…
– Last Updated: Jul-31-15 8:09 AM EST –
means taking full responsibility of going it alone. Many times, I have called off going to paddle surf, despite some really nice waves beckoning, because I was less than 100% due to injury or something else. If I know I can't reasonably handle the conditions/requirements of the day/venue then responsibility and accountability (to my family members, samaritans, rescue folks) dictate that I sit it out.
sing
Yeah, especially if it looks like they
have forgotten something useful, but when near to each other I’ve often struck up a little conversation…
politeness
Helping someone is always a good idea. When it comes to solo paddlers they are an independent lot, and usually do not need or want help. That is why they are solo.
My rule is
No one touches my boat, but me and I assume that others have the same rule. It’s not about being rude, it’s about not trusting that the other person has a clue about how I do my thing.
I have offered to help others, but the vast majority seem to prefer to take care of it alone.
My only fear is when I am swinging
my canoe up onto my head or shoulders, and someone tries to “help” without waiting for clearance. That can get dangerous.
Now that I’m 72, I am more likely to accept help, as long as the helper listens and knows what to do.
Big exception possible
A solo paddler might be alone that day because a buddy could not go or even did a no-show. Even though most times a solo paddler chose to go that way, it isn’t always the case.
solo means solo
At the end of one kenduskeag stream canoe race the east wind, full moon, high water and high tide forced the finishline upstream just before a low bridge.
I decided to take out and walk up a very high and steep gravel bank. I passed an older gentleman with a kayak. when I reached the top I started to head down and offered help to the gent. He told me in no uncertain terms he didn’t need any help. It was the late Earl Baldwin, who was in his 80s at the time.
We do what we love for as long as we can and we do it our way.
You just need another 20 plus years
Then you aren’t pretty or young enough to be “sweetie”. You are the white haired broad that no one knows exactly what to do with. 
Nothing wrong with asking…
Ask politely…what’s the harm? Most people, even if they don’t want help, appreciate the gesture. I know I do, even though I almost always turn down any help. There have been a few situations when I wish people would have asked if I needed help. Most common is portaging over low water bridges. I don’t want to unload the canoe and carry it across, but dragging it on the concrete isn’t a very good idea. There’s almost always people hanging around these accesses, and I have almost never had anybody ask me if I needed help. But of course, they are almost never paddlers, and are usually drunk.
will offer but
Due to paddling alone I prefer to load or upload my own canoe.I appreciate offer of help.but used to doing by myself. Always glad to help load or unload.
I am a big, strong guy for my age, from
the waist up. My lower back and legs are a disaster that can tolerate very little lifting, esp above my waist.
I am also a solo paddler of SOT and a surf ski. Although it galls me to need help, I gratefully accept it.
In many circumdtances, I cannot paddle without it.
eesh
I think that’s the mark of older generations. I’ve never heard someone from my generation use it. But you could disarm them next time by replying with a similar descriptor. Something like “sir” or “gramps”?
I was thinking of this post yesterday…
after the finish of a race that we were in.
There were probably fifty or sixty kayaks, SUP’s and canoes, and when every one started loading their boats all I heard around me, was, “can I help you”.
Some declined, while others accepted.
I’ll paddle with these good people any day!
Jack L