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What a piece of junk!

So I just went out and got this Garmin Foretrex 205 to help me with my multi-sport training program. I strap this baby on my wrist, climb onto the treadmill, and start jogging. The machine says I'm doing 6 MPH, but the Foretrex isn't registering ANYTHING. So I think, yeah, this is a pretty pricey device, obviously made for experienced, intense athletes, it probably hasn't been designed to record such slow times. So I kick the machine up to 8mph--still no reading. 10 mph--still no reading. 12 mph--nope. I notch it up to 15 mph, which is as high as my treadmill goes, and still nothing.

So I jump on my bike, attached to my top of the line fluid trainer. I start spinning, and the cyclo computer is reading 18 mph, then 20, then 28--and this stupid Garmin Foretrex is still reading ZERO MPH!!!

What a piece of junk! Obviously NOT made for the serious multi-sport athlete. I highly recommend you not waste your change on this toy.


  • You sure you have good batteries?
  • And after a few beers
    it won't tell you how high you are...
  • Not to state the obvious, but on p.net
    you never know.My GPS doesn't show anything if I stay in one spot either.
  • Are you on the treadmill indoors?
    If so, that's why it's not working.

  • You guys have been had!
    This is obviously a tongue-in-cheek post. Either that or Captainc is dumber than dirt.
  • ...
    It seems to me if you are staying in one spot on a treadmill, the GPS sensor will detect that you are actually going nowhere.
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    Sounds like..
    ..it's reading perfectly.

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    You obviously don't understand
    how GPS is supposed to work. It stands for Global POSITIONING System. It sends a signal to a satellite, which aims an x-ray camera back at you, and measures the movement (i.e. "position") of your arms and legs. When you pay over $200 bucks for something, it should work, even indoors, if the X-ray cameras it is linked to are any good. Garmin has obviously not subscribed to the best satellite X-rays cameras, which should easily read through my roof. It's not like its lead-lined or anything. They are ripping people off.
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    Ha, funny!
    "It sends a signal to a satellite, which aims an x-ray camera back at you, and measures the movement (i.e. "position") of your arms and legs. "

    Yeah, sends a signal to a satellite.. HAHAHAHA

  • spoof woof
    I guess there wouldn't be much traffic on a dedicated silly message board. It does seem unkind, not to mention oddly pointlessly time-consuming, to post absurdities just to take advantage of the kindness of strangers and the gullibility of people less sophisticated in pranksterism.

    Puns, it turns out, are the second lowest form of humor.
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    It's a joke guys. geeez
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    My GPS works fine indoors, you got a defective one, go take it back to Toys R Us..
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    Try the Foretex 101
    I picked one up for fifty bucks. Not flashy, but works fine.
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    you're missing an accessory
    ...for the x ray cameras to find and identify you, you need to purchase the antenna, which will cancel out the effects of your foil beanie.
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    I used to have a foretrex
    ...but my parents had it removed
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    Worth a try
    Where can I get that? It doesn't seem to be sold at my local Wal-Mart.
  • Changes in latitudes
    In order to make the GPS work properly you need to adjust it to the proper latitude. The Jimmy Buffet principle explains this effect and he's discovered the problem behind your GPS showing you running in place. Clearly he's referring to the condition you refer to in your OP since he discusses running in his theory. To solve the problem you merely need to change your latitude which will result in a corresponding change in your attitude towards the GPS. Since the theory is complex it is often useful to consume a few mararita's while studing it's effect.

    "It's these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
    Nothing remains quite the same
    With all of our running and all of our cunning
    If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane"
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    is this a quiz ?
    I am assuming from the brand (Garmin) you are talking about a GPS based unit. If you are not moving, you shouldn't expect it to calculate velocity.
  • Holy cr@p
    I know it's a message board and something get's lost in the translation from the written word. But has our nation become so focused that we can't tell a joke when we seen one!

    Dude where's Coffee when you need him.
  • if you can't find the foil beanie
    -- Last Updated: Aug-05-08 12:31 PM EST --

    at your local Wal-Mart, try covering your pith helmet with Reynolds Wrap Release and form a swan antenna on top. You know, like they do when you take home food from a fancy restaurant.
    Shine on, Kaps

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    Are you
    pointing it at the satellites the proper way? I have a Garmin E-trex Legend and I've found that if I don't point it right at the satellites it won't work...and make sure you do it during day light hours while they're still visible...
  • Perhaps it's calibrated in
    inches per minute. Put it on your back during sex and see if it records.

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    I don't think Wal Mart has ever even considered selling foil beanies, as Wal-Mart stores are built with giant foil beanie roofing systems to protect the general populace.
  • Heard a rumor...................
    -- Last Updated: Aug-05-08 3:50 PM EST --

    Heard a rumor that aliens are stealing aluminum & copper parts from some of the satellites. May be affecting some of the satellite's functions?

    The gray ones are some theiving little bast..ds.

    I bought a new Garmin Pretext.
    I assume it is working correctly.
    It gives the appearance of quality.
    Haven't tried the cloaking feature yet.



  • Options
    you have to hold the face of the device perfectly perpendicular to Garmin's stationary satellite. You should have received a 10" brass sextant with your purchase and if not, contact Garmin immediately.
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    Mine works fine...
    "Obviously NOT made for the serious multi-sport athlete"

    That is funny a "serious multi-sport athlete" that sits indoors on a stationary bike & a treadmill... HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    If you were "serious" and an actual "multi-sport athlete", you would be outside & more than just running and biking.

    Go outdoors & it should work just fine.

    Paddle easy,

  • On my back!?
    But I'm usually on the bottom ...
  • Maybe it's
    multi-sport resistant.

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    Think harder!
    Did you attach the required satellite dish? Good lord, how do you expect the electro-bits will make it up into space without the required 8 foot antenna and tracking system?


  • Sell
    Since I don't go anywhere,just to help you out,I would be willing to give you half price for it. At least you would get some of your money back
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    Return it for the Garmin Forehead 666
    Stick it on your forehead and it'll implant a sense of speed in your mind. Want to go faster, just think harder and the Garmin Forehead will implement a sense of speed.

  • Attach it to
    your foot. Then it'll read something!
  • Strap it to your chest...
    ...if it reads zero, you're legally dead.
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    Try using it
    on a staionary rowing machine and see how it works. It is possible the slaemans sold you the model designed just for paddling.
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    Inches per minute...
    Do you really think "2....2....2....2....2....2" is going to help him in his training?
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    it's obvious
    -- Last Updated: Aug-06-08 5:01 PM EST --

    the treadmill is running in the opposite direction of the earth's rotation, cancelling out your progress.

    Try moving the treadmill outside, and place it perpendicular to the earth's rotation. Use the compass on your gps to make sure.

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    Electronic do-dads, often hopeless
    Sounds like the hand-held digital anemometer my loving wife got me for my birthday. The money would have been better spent on a good (or even mediocre) bottle of Pinot Noir.
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    Next we can try
    duct taping the fishfinder transducer to the rubber ducky to read the water temps in the hottub and find that step. Use the extra bits of tape to fashion the beanie for your GPS lazer signal booster.
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    This is why,
    I bolted my treadmill to the front of my kayak. Now when I paddle I know just how fast I am going, and it is very accurate!-)
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    What a moron...
    And you all wonder why these people irritate me eith their lack on common sense.

    captain must be the leader?

    Paddle easy,

  • My GPS takes 2 - AA batteries
    What size and how many does the treadmill take?

    Paddlin' on
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    it may not be the batteries
    somtimes there's a little piece of plastic that you have to pull out before the battery will make contact
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    Great thread responses.
    I'm laughing til I'm crying.

    Most amused that coffee doesn't seem to get it.
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    I liked the reynolds wrap swan antenna..
    ..but I mean, that guy just has no common sense.
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    I get it... Just fine.
    Paddle easy,

  • GPS subscription
    Hi, I'm from the government and I'm here to help. It's a good thing you didn't try to use that GPS unit outside, or I might be coming after you. GPS service is provided to qualified US citizens on a subscription basis. Anyone using an unregistered GPS device is subject to a fine and/or imprisonment, and we know who and where you are. Since this appears to be an innocent mistake, I will simply withdraw funds from your bank account to cover a background investigation and the GPS subscription. Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention.
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