What a piece of junk!

So I just went out and got this Garmin Foretrex 205 to help me with my multi-sport training program. I strap this baby on my wrist, climb onto the treadmill, and start jogging. The machine says I’m doing 6 MPH, but the Foretrex isn’t registering ANYTHING. So I think, yeah, this is a pretty pricey device, obviously made for experienced, intense athletes, it probably hasn’t been designed to record such slow times. So I kick the machine up to 8mph–still no reading. 10 mph–still no reading. 12 mph–nope. I notch it up to 15 mph, which is as high as my treadmill goes, and still nothing.

So I jump on my bike, attached to my top of the line fluid trainer. I start spinning, and the cyclo computer is reading 18 mph, then 20, then 28–and this stupid Garmin Foretrex is still reading ZERO MPH!!!

What a piece of junk! Obviously NOT made for the serious multi-sport athlete. I highly recommend you not waste your change on this toy.

You sure you have good batteries?

And after a few beers
it won’t tell you how high you are…

Not to state the obvious, but on p.net
you never know.My GPS doesn’t show anything if I stay in one spot either.

Are you on the treadmill indoors?
If so, that’s why it’s not working.


You guys have been had!
This is obviously a tongue-in-cheek post. Either that or Captainc is dumber than dirt.

It seems to me if you are staying in one spot on a treadmill, the GPS sensor will detect that you are actually going nowhere.

Sounds like…
…it’s reading perfectly.


You obviously don’t understand
how GPS is supposed to work. It stands for Global POSITIONING System. It sends a signal to a satellite, which aims an x-ray camera back at you, and measures the movement (i.e. “position”) of your arms and legs. When you pay over $200 bucks for something, it should work, even indoors, if the X-ray cameras it is linked to are any good. Garmin has obviously not subscribed to the best satellite X-rays cameras, which should easily read through my roof. It’s not like its lead-lined or anything. They are ripping people off.

Ha, funny!
"It sends a signal to a satellite, which aims an x-ray camera back at you, and measures the movement (i.e. “position”) of your arms and legs. "

Yeah, sends a signal to a satellite… HAHAHAHA


spoof woof
I guess there wouldn’t be much traffic on a dedicated silly message board. It does seem unkind, not to mention oddly pointlessly time-consuming, to post absurdities just to take advantage of the kindness of strangers and the gullibility of people less sophisticated in pranksterism.

Puns, it turns out, are the second lowest form of humor.

It’s a joke guys. geeez

My GPS works fine indoors, you got a defective one, go take it back to Toys R Us…

Try the Foretex 101
I picked one up for fifty bucks. Not flashy, but works fine.

you’re missing an accessory
…for the x ray cameras to find and identify you, you need to purchase the antenna, which will cancel out the effects of your foil beanie.

I used to have a foretrex
…but my parents had it removed

Worth a try
Where can I get that? It doesn’t seem to be sold at my local Wal-Mart.

Changes in latitudes
In order to make the GPS work properly you need to adjust it to the proper latitude. The Jimmy Buffet principle explains this effect and he’s discovered the problem behind your GPS showing you running in place. Clearly he’s referring to the condition you refer to in your OP since he discusses running in his theory. To solve the problem you merely need to change your latitude which will result in a corresponding change in your attitude towards the GPS. Since the theory is complex it is often useful to consume a few mararita’s while studing it’s effect.

“It’s these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes

Nothing remains quite the same

With all of our running and all of our cunning

If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane”


is this a quiz ?
I am assuming from the brand (Garmin) you are talking about a GPS based unit. If you are not moving, you shouldn’t expect it to calculate velocity.