A must read!

Read the reviews. Great stuff!


ABSOLUTELY a must read
And not just for people who go to sea in small boats.

An option
"How to Avoid Huge Prices for Old Books" by L. I. Brary.

I agree that the general boating public should know how to avoid big ships, but really, this type of learning is best undertaken at one of the national Maritime colleges around the US (like mine).

Such info really needs to be delivered by trained and licensed industry professionals in a position to properly explain the technology and intricate procedures involved in successful ship avoidance, both to port AND to starboard. Please leave it to the pros…

I avoid them by staying in shallow water

Read the REVIEWS
The reviews are hilarious.

Great review (LOL!!!)
“As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I’m sure other parents here can empathize when I say I shudder at the thought of the increasing presence of huge ships in the lives my children. I certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships. The long inter-continental voyages that kept my mom and dad up all night with worry. Don’t even get me started on the international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was even younger than my kids are now! huge ships are everywhere and it doesn’t help that the tv and movies make huge ships seem glamorous and cool. This book helped me really approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest and non judgmental way. Because of the insights this book provided, I can sleep a little better and cope with the reality that I can’t always be there to protect my kids from huge ships, especially as they become adults. I’m confident that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make wiser decisions than I did. At the very least my children certainly know that they can always come to me if they have any concerns, questions or just need my support when it comes to the topic of huge ships.”

I have
a paddling buddy who likes to paddle out in Chesapeake Bay and surf the wakes of the big ships when they pass by—I would buy him a copy of the book if it wasn’t so damned expensive—but then he probably wouldn’t read it anyway

Favourite review
My favourite review was this one;

There is one major oversight in this generally well-written book, and that is that it addresses animate readers exclusively. As a large rock in the Tyrrhenian Sea off the coast of Giglio Island, I have recently been confronted with instances in which avoiding huge ships was of fundamental interest to my personal well-being. However, the methods presented in Capt. Trimmer’s book were none too useful in my efforts to avoid huge ships, as I was recently struck by a very large ship indeed, a cruise vessel called the ‘Costa Concordia’. I think the ship came off slightly worse in the exchange, but the experience was disruptive to my afternoon and rather jarring. In a situation such as this, Capt. Trimmer’s advice would have been immensely beneficial to humans, fish, seabirds, and other animals, but I am none of those things. I’m a big rock. I can’t zig-zag or duck and cover. Rocks don’t do that. I’ve tried. I tried some time ago to scoot over to the left a bit to get some better sunlight, and it took me three thousand years! That’s not fast enough to avoid even the slowest huge ships. It is for precisely this reason that I would advise Capt. Trimmer to augment this edition with a section intended for readers like me–perhaps “How To Avoid Huge Ships If You Are A Rock, Iceberg, Or Coral Reef”. There is a market out there for this, Capt. Trimmer, and I assure you it would be well worth your time and effort.

The huge ships I see on the Mississippi
downstream of New Orleans are very easy to avoid. The trick is to consider current, wind, and waves before getting out there.

The reviews are POURING in
I like this one from today.

“I have had an extreme fiber issue as of the past couple years and as a result, I have had hemorrhoids comparable to birthing a baby. Not normal ouchie poo poo’s, no. I am talking about pushing a cinder block through a garden hose. I was initially excited at the first sight from me opening the Christmas present and seeing ,“How to Avoid Huge S…” but was dissappointed when i saw the following “hips.” She laughed and I knew I could turn this around.

I then read the entire contents of the book, and lived it as it were my own life. I took my wife on a canoeing trip off the coast of St. Simon’s Island in the hectic shipping lanes after living this book for 3 years and knew the in’s and out’s of avoiding these massive ships, yet never let her in on the secrets enclosed. As i traversed the open shipping lanes, dodging, bobbing and weaving through giant ocean liners and shipping boats, my wife simply could not catch up and was not as versatile as I. My wife was tragically hit hy a Chinese shipping vessel hauling massive amounts of toys and shark fins.

Thank you so much John Trimmer for ridding me of this boil I have had, leaching my happiness away for the past 10 years

Thank you.”

What do customers ultimately buy
after looking a the book?

A banana slicer? Look at the bottom of the page.


Read those reviews too…

Two Points
One is that most paddlers are on lakes, rivers, and inland waters that are too shallow for such advice. Yeah, anyone on the ocean, inland seas, or ship navigable rivers should have this information, but there are a large number of folks who would be better served reading, ‘How to avoid drunk idiots in Powerboats,’ should said book exist.

Two is that anyone who attempts to interact with large ships needs to be aware that they cannot be seen. Most ships have a blind spot in front of the ship that can extend as far as a mile. In many cases, an object as small as a kayak that does not have a radar profile will never be seen.

I had a friend who was a programmer for a major shipping line (neither of which I will mention online) who told of an incident in the S. China Sea where a junk was crushed by one of their container ships. The captain was unable to disable the auto-navigation system completely and did not render aid since the computer had a schedule to keep and failed to consider 20+ men floating in the ocean to be of any importance.

They’ve since rectified this issue, but I don’t expect any large ship to either notice you before a collision, nor would I expect them to render aid afterward unless there is some way to attract their attention.

On a personal note, I doubt my hull thumping skills, while well developed, would suffice.


Rick Read the reviews
This isn’t about paddlers.

“No boil, yeah. But is sounds like…
…ya still got those roids, son!”

Shecky Snipperstein

(Cap’n Trimmer’s First Mate and Book Agent)

Far, far, out to sea,

collisions ya’d think you’d avoid,

butt boat comin’ ashore bounced into eye sore,

immovable rock meets irri(cyst)table roid.

Knowing where you paddle

– Last Updated: Dec-27-13 3:35 PM EST –

On the Detroit River , the large ships quickly approach
from behind you with almost no noise at all.
People are often surprised when they look backwards
to see a large freighter quickly approaching.

Large vessels often cannot maneuver or stop quickly
enough to avoid a collision
if you are in their path.


will have to check the Library …

– Last Updated: Dec-27-13 4:39 PM EST –

...... probably the only thing funnier than the book is the PRICE !!

Plenty of huge ships in the Chesapeake bay . At night when they are underway the have so few lights showing they can appear like ghost coming out of a slight haze . It's when they are at anchore that they are all lit up like christmas trees .

Having a long history of fishing the bay bridge poles and rock piles , one quickly gets the idea of what it means to back off from the structure (close in casting and dropping bucktails and baits) . Cargo ships coming in are loaded and heavy , they usually have quite a wake that quickly spreads out to the rock piles just either side of the main ship channel . This wake can easily slam you up against the rocks or concrete structure if you don't "back off" in anticipation of the soon incoming wake that follows the ships passage .

Seen any number of unsuspecting boats fishing in close only to be caught off gaurd by the wake ... it's a hoot when they are scrambling and being tossed around trying to back off too late . Gotta learn somehow I guess .

One thing that is a real situation would be if a motor boat's engine conked out while in the busy shipping channel . Stuck there a drift and the ships horn starts screaming from more than a mile away ... that's an O SH***T moment !!

Even when there are motor boats just lolly gaging around in the channel with full engine power available , I hear the ships horns blarring at them , they may even start the horns 2 or more miles away . They are plenty loud and only a deft (or perhaps innebriated) person wouldn't turn to see what the horn was coming from .

Way back when I had my 1st 17' Whaler , I thought I could run from the east side to the west through the incoming ships procession in the channel . Thought it would be a cake walk to time it right between them since there appeared to be so much distance between them ... 1 , 2 , 3 go , applied full throtle and set my line ... by the time I made the ships I realized my timing was off by quite a bit , and had to do a 180 . The sight of being close to that bow wake is an eye openner and lesson teacher . So , it all worked out OK ... on the 3rd try , plenty room to spare . When in close , it's not so easy to adjust for a 700' mess up , you just gotta fall back a take another start from closer to the lane after the ship goes by ... still there's the after wake but that's safely managable as long as the next ship coming doesn't crush you while your waiting and trying to cross the smallest possible wake .

ps., ... my spelling inability really ticks me off sometimes , I had to edit this post for spelling errors 4 times , and that's after intial preview editing ... gets irritating ya know :-) , or maybe you don't if you can spell really well .

Another great book:
This review is from: Bombproof Your Horse: Teach Your Horse to Be Confident, Obedient, and Safe, No Matter What You Encounter (Paperback)

I read this book cover-to-cover and when I felt like I had comfortably grasped the concept of bomb proofing my horse, I figured it was time to test out my newly acquired skills. I went out to my barn and saddled up. I then rode Prancer out on our usual trail thinking to myself “wow, the skills I learned in that book have really paid off so far!” BOY WAS I WRONG. I hopped off prancer and tied her up to a stump. I inserted the percussion cap on to my newly acquired stick of C4 and ran for cover (the book had no instructions on bomb proofing humans). Prancer is now gone and all I am left with is a broken heart and a worthless book that DOES NOT TEACH YOU HOW TO BOMB PROOF YOUR HORSE BUYER BE AWARE.

I gave it two stars because the book technically did not outline what kind of explosives the horse would be bomb proofed from, and C4 is a relatively high-yield explosive so I guess if you want to try yourself, downgrade to some dynamite or whatever and just work your way up from there.


Anybody notice what else customers
ultimately buy after viewing the book? (Just below the banana slicer.)