bathroom breaks ...

well, as many of you have learned, sweat breaks and water breaks are important when paddling. often overlooked however, is the importance of stopping to take a really thorough dump. now y’all might be thinking, “heck, i can hold this monster til i get home”. don’t do it. think of all that biomatter accumulating in your colin.

peristalsis is an ever present thing … and this wealth of eaten food will not be deterred in its inevitable path south. oh sure, you can pinch those cheeks together and grit your teeth but see, that takes away from your concentration. you need to concentrate on your strokes, the weather, currents, tides, wind, waves … all nature out there conspiring against you.

you need to be rid of that burdon. it wants OUT and it wants out more and more, the more you try to inhibit its ‘movement’.

so, next time you feel that natural urge, just say “YES”. you’ll feel better for the experience.

Dropping the kids off at the pool? NM

Rest Areas on the Waterways
Wha Ho, Pilgrims;

Dat give dis boy a’idee… ah’s gonna open a chain o’ pull-in rest areas along paddlin’ paths fer travelin’ paddlers ta take yer dumperoo’s. Ah’s thin’ ah’ will call dems ‘Stop & Plop’

Fat Elmo

did you ever notice
that when you have to really GO, that your ass knows when it is getting close to the goal, and it gets “goal fever”. the closer you get, the more you have to go. Sometimes it’s lucky you can get your pants off in time, or you start before your all the way seated.

we are in deep doo doo now folks
Hey we have not even begun winter slump here in paddle world, may the bird of paradise spare us.

Too funny

if you try to TAKE (why is it “take”? shouldn’t something like this be “deliver”?) a dump ass you


-Frank in Miami

My brother had one such occasion
while out in his motorboat with his family. When he gets hit, he has seconds. Thank goodness I didn’t inheret the problem.

They were just off West Palm beach at the time so his wife suggests that he get out of the boat on the ocean side, which he did. Unfortunately, it was the upcurrent side and soon he was surrounded by odiferous floaters. He assures me that is not a pleasant experience.

I can’t wait for the orange peel crowd to tell us to pack it out.

Oh God, Yes

– Last Updated: Nov-15-05 7:00 PM EST –

Barden's Inlet is now referred to as Barden's Bidet.

Tubb's Inlet is now called Tubb's Toilet.

Both of those wet, wonderful, experiences were religious in nature.

You haven't defecated 'til you drop your swim trunks out in the water as the tide whisks your wastes away.


Has a clean sound to it.

Holy crap !
You are too late Fatelmo they already have them. down in the Everglades and a few other places.

They are called chickees and they have a porta john as well as a camping platform.

The only problem is you have to get a permit ahead of time, and I doubt if you can time it or hold it long enough to make proper use of the permit.

Hey Liv-2; we have got to get you back paddling soon. Sitting around thinking of taking a dump is not good for your moral.



Down Lauderdale Way
they are commonly known as blind mullet. So more than one might be considered a school.



Thanks for your good advise

– Last Updated: Nov-15-05 8:53 PM EST –

Nothing like a good dump to leave one returning from trips refreshed and fealing invigorated about life.

boy, that’s the truth of it …
nothing to do but sit around watching Dr. Phil and think of things to do in the water. i’m going absolutely NUTS, as you can tell.

my right shoulder is coming along soooo slowly … it’s like watching the grass grow. it won’t be ready to paddle for another 6 months at this rate.

to make matters worse, i’m off the hospital again after Thanksgiving to get arthroscopic LEFT shoulder surgury. gotta remain balanced ya know. yes, my left shoulder has dislocated 4 times in past month and a half and doc says better fix it now before it gets as bad as my right shoulder was.

my theory? i figure some body parts like shoulders have about 23,547,329 movements in them before they die … and i’ve used up my alloted movements. (there i go again with movements, eh?)

by the time BOTH shoulders are renewed, figure spring … i’ll be bionically enhanced and then you guys better watch out. i’m gonna be a happenin’ guy.