Canadian Tire Class V Whitewater Video Instruction

Warning for those slow on the uptake this is satire. Hey be safe out there eh.

It was missing:

  • Plaid
  • Tim Horton’s coffee
  • Hockey
  • Poutine
  • Snow
  • Mounties
  • Moose, beavers, and Canada geese

And hey, everyone knows you get a Pelican SINK at Canadian Tire, not a SOT… Eh.

Now Canadians are just about born in canoes, so Class V paddling skills are probably just second nature to them. It takes more than a 3-minute video to bring people from the US up to the base, Class V, skill levels most Canadians are born with.

That Class V looks fun! For many years I have been avoiding it, when maybe all I really needed was to stop in a Canadian Tire. Or, …maybe it’s not just the store. Maybe you actually have to be Canadian. I think it is too late for me.


enjoyed that