kayak paper

this was for one of my sociology classes.

I was invited to go on an intrepid journey with four other kayaking tribesmen. I started my day out by getting out of my chamber and out of my sleeping clothes made from plants. I got into my waterfall machine to clean my self with a combination of chemicals and natural supplements. I got out of the waterfall machine and started to spray my teeth with more chemicals. I got dressed in some garments and headed to my dark chamber underneath my house. That is where I kept my sacred piece of plastic.

This is a special piece of plastic that allows me to travel many miles of flowing dangerous rivers. I also keep my enchanted jacket that I believe keeps me afloat when I enter the rivers. I headed to my propulsion machine to get me to my tribe leader. I throw my plastic piece on top of my propulsion machine and tie it down with shreds of chemically enhanced cord. I was low on fossils so I had to go to the storage facility where they kept spare fossils. The price when up all the way to three pieces of paper, this aggravated me because I only made so many papers per hour at the watering hole where I labor. I finally get to the tribe leader’s domicile; where he sleeps and stores all of his artifacts. He puts his own piece of plastic on my propulsion machine. We have time before the rest of our tribe gets to his domicile, so we compare our plastic pieces and the other artifacts he has lying around. The tribe leader told me he was bringing a special drink on the trip that could alter your mind if you drank enough. He told me that if you let grapes rot long enough and drank the juice you could alter your mind. I thought that this was a bit crazy so I let him keep that drink to himself. Our fellow tribesmen completed the journey to us. They told us that they had trouble with a man who was dressed up and wearing a silver piece of metal on his shirt. The outsider pulled them over for going over the suggested maximum speed for their journey.

We finally got onto the grooved out piece of concrete to travel to a magical faraway place; where the rivers hit against rocks and create big swirling death holes where my tribesmen like to play. After about six hundred thousand of my peoples feet we halt because our bodies scream to the gods for fuel. We pause at a local fueling station to hunt for food. I get the dead cow while my other tribesmen get dead chicken. We feast on oil fats, ground up cow, and chicken. Once we fed my propulsion machine some more fossils we were on our way. We navigated the treacherous trailways by a piece of paper that contained symbols and other trailways we could navigate.

My tribesmen and I are an eclectic group. My tribes’ leader gets pieces of paper by counseling people how to run their own lives. He is the eldest group member and therefore the most respected. The younger members of his tribe look up to him seeking advice. The medicine man of my tribe seeks out people in danger and rescues them. Even if that means he has to swim into a swirling vortex. Surprisingly he does not make as much paper as the elder member does even though he risks his life for others. He is on the trip not only for his companionship, but if someone was to get injured he knows remedies and certain potions that can heal tribesmen. The third member on our trip is the newb. He was brought on in a trial bases. If he proves himself worthy to the river gods, he will be allowed to come on more trips and provide his own assistance. For now he will just watch and be protected from the river by us. I am the river rat of the group. My whole life is about the river. I make sure to pray to the rain gods for a bountiful river. I provide extra clothes if people need them. I will lend my ear to those who seek advice on which plastic device to buy.

We get to the patch of land that is reserved by other members of our bloodtithe tribe to sleep for the night. Some of the tribe prefers to sleep in the propulsion machine but the elder and I sleep in shelters made from surrounding woods. We tell tales to each other while we burn wood and make one last prayer to the rain gods; this time to hold off rain until our worship of the river is executed.

The next morning we get back in my propulsion machine and journey to the river. We each get our pieces of plastic off the propulsion machine and start dressing out in public with our bloodtithe tribes. Each tribe hopes to be the first on the river. It is a superstition among the bloodtithe tribes that the first on the river will have the best luck until the next journey. My tribe believes that taking your time and properly saluting the river gods is a better way to ensure a safe passage on the river. We each put on synthetic fibers to stop the sacred water from getting in our pieces of plastic and on our bodies. We wear carbon on our heads to protect ourselves against punishment by the river God. We do a dance that prepares our joints and muscles for the beating they are about to receive and we finally get on the water.

After saluting the underwater creatures a couple of times we head down the river. We stay in a single file line representing the passage of time that water spends on a river. The elder first then the medicine man, after that then newb heads on, I pull up the rear. We play on some features that could kill us in a second.

We have a good day playing on Mother Nature. We get off the river and dry off. We drive back in my propulsion machine and we talk about our victory against Mother Nature. The elder reminds us that we did not beat Mother Nature, rather she let us live this time. I guess it is just another great winter river session.

Wotever !!

advice, suggestions, or general help?

can you post a link?
I want to get one of those waterfall machines.

Bohemia, you kill me. Thanks for the laugh!