I would like to know at this time not how you navigate the salty seas in your kayak, but how you navigate your way through your relationship given the time/money intensive nature of this hobby.
Did your love of boats present challenges for your relationship, or did it bring you closer together as they also took up the pursuit? How do you balance your sea life with your love life? What happened when you first said honey/darling/babe, I want to paddle on the sea for many hours (days?) at a time, “what do ya think?”
I look forward to some interesting tales here, hah. I don’t have anything to share yet, and to be honest there may not be a maiden voyage on the saltwater in many a year for I. Well perhaps short jaunts where I can return well before suppertime. She has a fear of capsizing and of choppy seas, although thankfully she is open to calm water lake paddling so that can be a pleasure we share sometime.
My girlfriend and I started kayaking together last year. She struggles with it, as she isn’t as physically active as me, but she still goes with me some days. On those days, I try to keep an easy pace and not go into anything more than flat, calm water with little to no wind. The one time her and I did go into some challenging waters, she did not enjoy herself. But, I’ll gladly have an easy day paddling to enjoy this sport with her any time I can. When I do want to challenge myself and work on skills, she stays home. It isn’t a bad thing to have a day apart.
Awww, bud! Come on, I’m not a dog person, but I do get emotionally attached to the pets my kids own. My brother’s dog was his best friend, they even when fishing together.
My wife loves to swim, but wants no part of kayaking or canoeing. There had been times when we broke off diplomatic relationships. That’s when my time on the water flourished. Now I encourage her to connect with her many friends. And I make sure the grass is cut or do it after I return. Then fit in some extended road trips where she wants to go.
My husband and I started kayaking at the same time. Over the years, my interest in it deepened much more than his, so it has both presented some challenges AND brought us closer together, at different times.
A lot like life in general, in other words. We’re still together and still paddling, though he had to forego the last year due to a worsening musculoskeletal problem that will get surgery. I switched to paddling a surf ski (had nothing to do with fear of rolling…).
We always had time doing separate things anyway, so it’s no big change. Like, I have zero interest in fishing and only occasionally go with him if there is good hiking from the same spot.
We’ve been through two major moves and home builds together, among other changes. There are a lot bigger challenges for a couple than differing levels of interest in the same sport. Buckle up, because it’s guaranteed that you’ll encounter some of them eventually!
Oh yeah! We’ve done a big move and had a baby so far, so… it couldn’t get any more challenging than that, right? Right??? I hope to the lord almighty it is not possible, and I’m not even religious
My wife is pretty good about letting me do some things on my own. We did have the sea kayak talk last night (is that a thing?). She said she’s open to me doing some on my own, but in practice if I leave her with the baby for toooo long it won’t turn out as well. All about balance in life I think.
DanielD, I experienced that with my wife. She doesn’t like bicycles either. I’d do the things to keep the household going, but still had to negotiate that battle. I started by leaving for the trail at 6:00 am, do 40 miles, be home by 11:00, then in the afternoon, we’d make snacks and do a 7 mile round trip on the trail. When the youngest ones were too small to walk, I’d put them on my shoulders and carry them. Probably contributed to my bad knees.
We all have different needs. It pays to be strong g and self reliant as an individual. When wife finds other activities, I find plenty to occupy my time.
As with our interaction on the forum. Everyone has different needs, degrees of commitment and level of tolerance. The forum is a place to learn and share, we should be careful and sensitive to the fact that some members comes here to unwind and not to defend their recreational pastime. That has less to do with abity to mix it up on a topic, than it does with an individuals expectation for relaxation.
I met my wife kayaking and proposed on a kayak camper. After over 20 years we still paddle together. We lead a week long group trip to the Adirondacks every year. Missed 2020 due to Covid restrictions.
I envy you .
My wife and I have almost totally different interests. Mine tend to be physical like walking, hiking, paddling, and hers are reading , sewing, and kids for many years.
We hadn’t been married long when she realized that I need those physical outlets and fully supported them.
Sometimes she can detect the caged animal behavior beginning before I can and gently asks if I shouldn’t be outside.
Two of my paddling partners have been attractive women. My wife never worried about it. Both women let it be known very quickly that they were there for paddling only.
One of them made gourmet lunches for us. Kinda missed that when she moved on.
I built her a gorgeous boat of her own. Since she knew I was a kayaker before we got together, there was not a whole lot she could say. It also gives her an outlet for her photography.
I have paddled with women for years. Some were wives some weren’t.
In 1998 it was time to change partners. I got divorced and met a nice lady at the Garden Club. After a few months I asked her to go on a canoe trip. We did 151 miles on the Missouri R in Montana. I found out later she does not swim. She has been on many boat trips with me, but now I mostly go on men only trips. We need some separation.
“The sea kayak talk” really made me laugh. I’m lucky, my spouse and I like to paddle together. We each have interests the other doesn’t share but this is a good one to share.
Many fewer true paddling couples, where both have the same level of paddling interests, than singles. My husband and l were usually the only couple in a training group. I don’t expect to be in that situation again. It is rare.
The usual accommodation is as above, balance contributions at home with paddling and make time for paddling with partner in other than the more aggressive paddler’s preference.
I have several sets of friends who met through paddling (one set houses my kayaks at their place so I am glad they met!) so they generally have pretty compatible paddling styles and ambitions. Most of them will also go and do things separately - they don’t have to always be together or do everything together. That seems to be a good sign in a relationship.
I’m happily single so otherwise can’t really help you out!
Bro, my wife and I started with twins. Found out or older son (one of the twins) has autism shortly after our 3rd child was born. He also has autism. Our (surprise!) fourth child (2nd daughter) is “neural typical,” which when used to describe a preteen girl is a hard concept to wrap my head around…
But, for the original question, I kayak with my youngest (10yo daughter). we do a lot together, and the window of “doing stuff with daddy” is gonna close on me. I’m loving every chance I get to do stuff with her, and I like to introduce her to the things that bring me joy. That includes my faith, being outdoors, preferably in a 'yak or with a 'pack (hiking)., stupid jokes, singing loudly and off-key, etc. My life goal: for my grandkids to run up and say “did you really…”
All my hobbies take together are a relationship struggle with my wife. She’s indoors-oriented (artist). I’m not if I can get outside.
Anyway, DanielD - Congratulations on the new addition! It is all about balance and communication.
