This was a long time ago, seems like yesterday, my date took the photo. She was so beautiful I married her. Today I put her in hospice at 59. I was her sole caregiver through end stage alzh. I had years of practice living in the moment, but there was no preparation for the grief.
Someday I will paddle again… I suppose.
This recording quality is diminished but the girl singer is stellar.
Dan Rumsey, Jeff Bjorgo, Laura Underwood At Dunn Bros on Grand, 4/29/12_15 - YouTube
Taking care Peace J
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My heart aches for you, Paatit. I’m so, so sorry.
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Love is amazing, and the loss unfathomable. She would want you to be happy, so take it a day at a time until you can. Seek counseling if you need to. I saw my Dad struggle when my Mom past away at 56. His motto was a day at a time. I wish you well. I feel so sorry for your loss, and what both of you are going through. Remember the love, and how she would want you to live life to the fullest. You have my heart felt compassion.
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God bless you don’t get over it you learn to live with it. She always be with you.
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I’m sorry so very sorry to hear of your trials… I wish there was something I, a stranger, could say or do to ease the pain you must be feeling now. But there isn’t. We all have to face our hard times alone, and alzh in a loved one has to be one of the hardest trials anyone can face. But we all face our trials - its part of our common human experience, of life. The bitter with the better… As has been said - seek help if you need it, take comfort in the company of friends when you can.
And there is restorative power to be taken from the waters we all love. I’ve found it to be so in my life and seen it in others. When nothing seems like it can ever be right again the wind and waves, the stars and flow of the waters can be restorative. They are eternal. They are our friends.
And music can help, too. (Probably its wise to avoid sad country music and beer for a while, though.)
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Tears but no words. You are living one of our greatest fears. I hurt for you both.
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Sorry to hear that Paatit. I can tell you though that hospice is a good thing. They will help you along and make it easier on both.
I’ve been there twice. Lost one at 56 and one at 62. Hang in there.
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So sorry to hear this. I’m not at all good with words in these circumstances, but I sincerely want God’s blessings on you, and give you courage to paddle again.
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Speechless Jeff…We will save some Lake for you…When you are ready.
Good Memories, stay strong. {the strong also know how to morn and cry without limits}
I remember how the two of you glowed , when together…Speechless
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Sorry for you. Aging brings challenges as we lose loved ones.
My partner is healthy, but in the last year I have lost 3 relatives, 5 friends, 3 horses and a 17 year old Corgi. It is much more grief than I have ever experienced. The Buddhist concept of Acceptance is my only solace. My heart weeps every day.
Spending time in Nature. Spending time with animals. And spending time helping emotionally challenged kids to ride horses have all helped. School, religion and life experience did not prepare me at all for this level of heartbreaking dispair. Learning to cope with it is all brand new.
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When someone important to us passes, it takes a bit of us with them. But we still carry some of them with us and on whatever adventures or travels we undertake, even just sitting and watching the sun set, they are still with us.
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Thank you all for the words of kindness. Laura died on July 23rd Full Moon. I always add that Full Moon. I still exist in this surreal unfocused driftlessness but have paddled about a dozen times.
Paddling, always contemplative, is especially bittersweet.
Peace J
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Jeff, so very sorry to hear. Nothing can fully prepare you for something like that; she lives on in your memory. Paddling and being in nature are great healers. Be easy on yourself and don’t be afraid to lean on your friends.
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I hope that time eases things for you, and regret that I missed this post when it first came through. The water isn’t going anywhere.
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I am sorry I missed this thread. What a powerful reminder that life is to be cherished, but I also think somewhere she paddles with you. I hope time blunts your pain.
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Peace be with you. May you hear her music in the wind and see her smiles in the dancing water.
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Words seem so inadequate. May your memories dwell on the good ones.
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This made me deeply sad. My heart is broken for your loss, and I don’t even know you. I hope you keep paddling and that it brings you peace. May her memory be a blessing.
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Paatit, I just found this about Laura and the Full Moon. My hope is that being in a kayak can help you feel connected.