Alligator distractor

For about a month, I’ve been fishing Sheldon Reservoir. Its home to a good sized population of gators. Some of them are quite large, upwards of 12 ft. My wife worries about the gators getting me. I don’t know why, my measly retirement income is hardly enough to help out much and she’ll get a bunch of money if I die, especially accidentally. Maybe its love, who knows?

Anyway, she’s suggested that I carry something to distract the gators should they attack. Her suggestion is that I carry with me a toy poodle. I thought about a chihuahua because of its light weight and the fact that my kayak is on the small side, but I’d probably have to carry two of them as one would hardly be enough to entice a really big gator. And, who can stand the yapping of one of those things, much less two. Scare the fish away. The poodle seems just about right…4-8 lbs of good red meat, bright white to attract the gator, and only a bit yappy. Enough yappy that I wouldn’t have a problem tossing the thing at a gator, but not so bad as to scare the fish too badly…usually intermittant yaps as I recall from my parents toy poodles.

So, this may seem an odd request, but does anyone have a toy poodle that they can spare? It might just save my life. I guess I’d consider another dog the same size, but no schnauzers or terriers…can’t stand to be around the damn things for more than a few minutes. Your donation will be greatly appreciated and give my wife peace of mind when I’m out there fishing. Of course, if I have to throw the poodle to a gator, I’ll need another next time I go fishing, so I’ll consider spare donations, if any.

Contact your local PETA office
Recent news paper stories suggest the your local PETA office may be able to help in this matter.

One early thought I had on the subject
was getting one of the PETA gals to perch on the front of my kayak. But, even those scrawny b****** are too heavy. Besides, no self-respecting gator would want one of those broads.

No matter how tongue in cheek this was…
It was in poor taste and I totally resent the implication. Why dont you instead, throw one of “your” children to them…and leave mine alone.

No one’s mentioned throwing children to

Guess I Have a Sick…
…sense of humour, but I got a good laugh out of it! Take care. WW

Did you read Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest
Proposal” one too many times too? It was one of my favorite satires. Too bad the British were such wimps, following his proposal might have saved the Empire much grief from the Irish.

i was thinking more along the
lines of a 9mm, but hey, if a toy poodle get the job done why waste bullets?


tell you the truth i wouldn’t be kayaking in gator infested water, but that’s me, hehe.

Why don’t you just
Duct Tape the gator’s jaws shut, Wuss?

Hey, I’m doing this for my wife.
I prefer just wrestling the damn things down, then beating them with a paddle until they understand its my water.

I think cats would be a much better choice…Much more tender…and worthless as pets.

The other white meat
Oh now I’m going to burn in hell for sure.

cats r better
I would go with the cats, all that yapping from the dog would only attract gators.

Have to keep a cat in a bag. My
experience with cats (first wife was a big cat lover, never without one or three), has not been good when withing 15 feet of water. Besides, with the poodle, after giving the yapping problem some thought, I could always tape its mouth shut. And, of the two, I find cats preferable companions. Much easier to house train.

I live in Fl and lots of gators here and all you need to do is if you see one is to move away slowey and they well not get up set . I fish with them all the time …Oh yes I have a green kayak and they do not mess with me .not yet… If you get a fish get it out and keep it out or you well have a friend for life … take care and

get abook on them …

The gators don’t bother me, I don’t
bother them. Its my wife’s suggestion to throw toy poodles at one if it comes too close. Seeing as how I don’t care for toy poodles, seems like a good idea.

I’m a proud member of P.E.T.A.

– Last Updated: Jul-19-05 2:08 PM EST –

People Eating Tasty Animals

How about a Bichon Frise? They only get up to about 18 pounds and they're French and pretty worthless. Wouldn't want to waste a GOOD dog would you?

(Just kidding. I volunteer at Paws Atlanta)

One of my criteria for a worthless dog
is one that when you thump it good, you knock it a foot or two. At 18 lbs, a Bichon is at least a borderline good thumper. Besides, my kayak is small, I need a dog that weighs 10 lbs or less. Keep up the good work.

Alligator distractor
when i was 11 fishing a local lake here in florida with my father. we watched a guy throwing a ball out in the water to his dog. after 15-20 throws.

i’m still watching the dog swim out to the ball. i hear a yelp and a small splash. whoops no more dog.

the guy to say the least was very upset. he called the game warden. the warden told us a gators favortite food is dog (not dog food but the dog itself).

Lady and hubby were loading their boat
at Lake Houston (live almost on top of it (not good for my kind of fishing) and let there little lap dog loose. Gator grabbed it and the lady beat the gator near to death with a concrete chunk before it released the dog. Gators not only love dogs, but small kids too. The lesson, obey the leashlaws when in gator country and keep small children under close watch.