Another variable: Colon blockage
– Last Updated: Nov-01-05 4:05 AM EST –
Okay, first and foremost, I agree wih yanoers in paragraph two of his monologue about trying differing boats and the "getting used to" factor and how that can impact testing; the learning curve is there and any difference noted may just be because the newbie in loaned boat doesn't have a clue as to how to paddle the yak. All that said, I m pleased to trade yaks on Clinton Lake sometime and see what is what. But I personally believe a colon full of cheese -- with or without Gatorade-- made some difference. I credit the keen eye of bruce for first mentioning this in the above post, with mammoth as the key terminology. I mean, he watched you eat that mammoth beast face-to-face at Lock #7; I, on the other hand, was peeing behind the outhouse. Bruce in this post goes on to eloquently document the hypothesis testing model with his table of variables and procedure for testing. And indeed, the cheese is... not only binding... but may literally be the "passion fruit" of kayaking (but I frankly would not recommend it as an aphrodesiac for our wives, though, so don't carry this analogy too far please).
The first leg of the trip was more difficult in the Castine, sans cheese. The second leg, after 8.5 miles of fatigue, was faster and the lilly pad charge, near end paddle, was, frankly, scary. You took off like a bloodhound after a dead rabbit, let me tell you, yanoer. It was nearly supernatural, and Bruce and I, left in your green African lotus wake, thought for a moment that you took a hit of speed or something. We planned to search your car for Sudafed boxes and a makeshift distiller when we got back to the parking lot. Anyhow, it was an impressive passage in the lotus for sure, and the point being, you had that jumbo block of havarti, and we did not. Throw reason out the window, as a colon full of cheese just does not seem like it would make a paddler faster, but in this case it did. Why bother shaving a few ounces off a paddle weight when the block of cheese in gut is at least half a pound or more? I mean, maybe it has something to do with improved sitting balance with a low center of gravity or something. Maybe it is the slow seepage of cheesy protein and fat that trickles into the blood stream about 60-90 minutes after a cheese gorge. Trust me, yanoer bruce and sing, our swigs of Gatorade ain't no match for the havarti. Analyzing this any further will lead to a faulty conclusion: bottom line is, yanoer, you made that slovenly rec yak cut through the lotus patch like a 19 foot composite Seda Glider after that cheese sandwich. You literally left us in your wake. And for that, you are, by definition... Da Man!
PS Do not, and I mean really DO NOT, mix that quantity of cheese with Gatorade unless you have a deathwish or something. For the love of God, you'd paddle like a dope fiend and then your guts would blow out all over the lake like bass chum. Don't even think about it.
PPS See, I know you're thinking about it. Don't. Brent Reitz might be able to pull it off. We cannot.