How to react to a mother goose attack?

While paddling the Great Swamp last week end, there were several goose nests. Several mother geese let me get close and take pictures. However one didn’t even want me to pass by her. She honked loudly, started flapping her wings and flew toward me. I waved my paddle at her and she flew overhead. WAs this the safest response, or should I have put my head down and tried to be as still as possible like they say to do with a bear?

You were too close to a nesting goose
… and were probably being too passive about it. If you have to pass, paddle aggressively. If you have to take pictures, you might have to take your licks.

a goose ain’t a bear
kick it’s ass!

If it’s a defensive Mother Goose attack you should cover your head and play dead until she leaves the scene.

If it’s a predatory Mother Goose attack you should fight to the death. Nothing worse than being eaten alive by a hungry Mother Goose.


But especially watch out for those

– Last Updated: Apr-21-09 10:19 PM EST –

"Grizzly" geese --They are far more dangerous and unpredictable than the common black Canadas found here in the Northeast.

BUT SERIOUSLY...You did the right thing. As someone who's kept everything from uppidy roosters to foul-tempered waterfowl, WAVING A STICK of some kind at their small brained heads, lets them know who's boss and that you mean business if messed with.

"So shut up. Be a nice goose, and let me take your damn picture."

AND REMEMBER: Your paddle is far too good/expensive to waste on such quackery.
--Better to keep it nice for things like whacking annoying PETA activists over the head.

Are you sure it was a mother?
Don’t both sexes look the same?

As to your question: You should have taken pictures of the attack before taking evasive or defensive actions.

But if she took pictures of the attack
a shyster lawyer from the American Civil Liberties Union might sue her for violating the MoFo Geese’s rights!

It really depends
What kind of paddle is it?

jim :wink:

I’d choose a .357 magnum loaded with 125gr hollow point ammo…

…just kidding


Coulda been a male, really
Are the goslings out yet there? Or they still nesting? If you look at your surroundings closely, often you will see a female close by, head down, sitting on a nest hidden in some brush, etc. The males do patrol.

Swans are the threat. The “Great White.” Break your arm, they will. And then drag ye down to the depths where they can take their time devouring your flesh.

Here’s a secret: Most people know the story of the ‘Ugly Duckling.’ What most people don’t know is that even when they grow up, Swans are always ugly on the inside.

Swan attack
I was attacked by a black swan while paddling when I was a teenager. It came flying at the kayak with it’s feet dragging in the water and flapping it’s wings.

Very scary but fortunately for me it took a while to work out it needed to attack me and not just the kayak and by then I was out of it’s territory.

perhaps if it’s a Mother Goose
you could confuse IT by reading IT a fairy tale!


long skinny neck
while in a boat, I’v not been attacked by any creature, but I have had to deal with a goose on land. Head low, very aggressive. simply grabbed its neck, right behind the head and lifted it up, looking him square in the eyes. I didn’t lift it off its feet, but I did ask if it want to come home for dinner. It declined, and was more than happy to let me be after I released it and go on his way.

It was not nesting season, and yes, I know the wings are strong and being struck by their flapping is going to hurt. But they don’t have teeth.

I have no explantion for this video:

My Fav
Goose recipe includes stuffing the body cavity with oranges and basting with an orange juice, honey, butter slurry. Very tasty, Canada Goose is all dark meat and very rich to the palate.

Now if you were intrusively close to a nesting waterfowl, I defer to the Hannibal Lector cookbook, saute’d liver with fava beans.

taking note of that
next time I’m on the river and a goose so much as looks at me funny

Fava Beans! Paugh!
I don’t know HOW anybody can eat those.


You have to drink a lot of nice Chianti first.

Chestnut stuffing is great with goose.
Pate is another good treatment for geese. And don’t forget omlettes if they are nesting.

perhaps the goose
could use a nice Chianti