Humorous Craigslist Ads

I saw an ad on CL today for a Mad River Adventure that I found funny as well as genuinely honest.

“One 16’canoe. Two paddles.
This is a multi-person canoe. Portaging or getting in on top of my rig alone is not something I want do again. Ima try an inflatable. Maybe you’ll see that up here next. Maybe boating isn’t for me. I digress.
I bought this 2 weeks ago for $260. Used it once. Great story. This boat is best for lakes, not quick rivers. Trust me.
$240 cash. Firm. (If you want to haggle, or give me some hardship story about how you had one of these but lost it in your divorce merely because your ex is spiteful. S/He doesn’t even like canoeing!, please don’t contact me. :)”

What a wimp. Yup, they are heavy, but my ex-BF and I had an Adventure 16 and I loaded it solo several times.

For anyone not familiar with these low-tech beasts they are kind of like if a sit on top kayak mated with a Coleman canoe, a completely rotomolded low-sided canoe-ish craft with fixed raised seats and sort of a deep coaming lip around the entire gunwale (likely intended to strengthen it though I considered sewing a skirt for it.). Newer ones have a molded in position for a stern trolling motor.

We had rented one on a trip to Everglades City and inexplicably liked it. When a local guy posted one on Craigslist for $300 we snagged it. It came with an electric trolling motor which we never used. We used to use it as a beater on local rocky class 1 to 3 streams, using 230 and 240 cm kayak paddles. The A-16 proved better for that sort of thing than our vintage OT Guide had been and was actually quite fun as an alternative to the solo kayaks on lazy days when we wanted to switch off paddling. I sold him my share of it when we broke up. (Miss the boat far more than I miss him.)

I hesitate to categorize the Adventures as “canoes”. They are big plastic floating thingees but are cheap fun that can be twitchy if you aren’t careful. This aspect is reflected in a lot of the reviews one reads of them.

There’s someone on eBay now selling a Werner carbon paddle, saying they used it once and found it “too light” to propel their kayak. Hm.

We often see cryptic local CL listings in the boats section offering “canoe with ore”. Bauxite? Kimberlite? Hematite?

Not paddling related, but this recent “lost cat” ad (which landed in the “Best of CL” archives) is rather amusing. In the well-meaning guy’s defense, he’s an immigrant unfamiliar with North American wildlife.

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ric/6881185958.html

@willowleaf said:
Not paddling related, but this recent “lost cat” ad (which landed in the “Best of CL” archives) is rather amusing. In the well-meaning guy’s defense, he’s an immigrant unfamiliar with North American wildlife.

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ric/6881185958.html
I can smypathise with the guy. I bought a wild monkey at one of those old time roadside attractions back in the 60s. He just tore up my apartment. Took me 27 hours to find a good home for it.

My father in law adopted a parrot. We heard him outside in our yard in Houston. We went out and called him, and Shazam! ,we had a green parrot .No ID .
Dad brought him home to SC and kept him for a couple of years.

New post in my 'hood this evening: In many cases CL sellers of kayaks and canoes “throw in” the paddle for free when you buy their boat. In this ad the guy wants $50 for the paddle and will throw in the boat for free! (a home-built vintage Klepper-like wood and canvas tandem.).

https://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/boa/d/wexford-hand-built-kayak-canoe/6903261825.html

@willowleaf said:
New post in my 'hood this evening: In many cases CL sellers of kayaks and canoes “throw in” the paddle for free when you buy their boat. In this ad the guy wants $50 for the paddle and will throw in the boat for free! (a home-built vintage Klepper-like wood and canvas tandem.).

https://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/boa/d/wexford-hand-built-kayak-canoe/6903261825.html

Guys says he used it a couple times and lost interest … I think he finished the boat first and then lost interest in making the paddles. Somebody will get a nice deal, anyway.

He might be able to trade the boat for the large “house” cat…

Looks like he bought a bed and toys for that cat. Maybe he will find a nice kitten.

Looks like he got a taker for the “free” kayak. Ad’s down.

I encountered a guy in a PetCo in Michigan back when I lived out there who was carrying around a Lynx kitten – one of the cutest animals I’ve ever seen! He was licensed by the state to care for orphaned wild animals and it was one of two he was fostering. He said that Lynx can actually be good house pets – he and his wife had raised and kept one for years that had been too injured to return to the wild. The kitten was certainly mellow and reclined in the guy’s arms and purred as a bunch of us crowded around and petted it.

On the other hand, he said that bobcat kittens (like the one picked up by the hapless CL poster) are holy terrors and impossible to domesticate. He’d fostered a couple and had to build a sturdy pen for them – said they would destroy a house ( and shred the owners) if allowed free run.

@willowleaf said:
Looks like he got a taker for the “free” kayak. Ad’s down.

The “store bought” paddle looked like it could be an early FG Camano.
If so it would be worth the price alone.

Pretty funny and could be a bargain

https://chicago.craigslist.org/nch/boa/d/morton-grove-large-canoe/6905128054.html

“Solid kayak. It floats. BYOP: Bring Your Own Paddle. Pretty much what you’d expect out of a kayak. Length of 10 is a rough guess. It’s a kayak.”

Succinct.

https://nmi.craigslist.org/boa/d/arcadia-solo-kayak/6906007532.html

Guessing the seller had two:

https://nmi.craigslist.org/boa/d/arcadia-solo-kayak/6905995591.html

https://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/boa/d/marietta-omg-its-canoe/6898964973.html

@TomL said:
https://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/boa/d/marietta-omg-its-canoe/6898964973.html

Looks like a deal. Probably take $200.

@string said:

@jester42 said:
“Vintage” Nylux inflatable canoe.
Comes with 2 “OARS”, and a foot pump.
One seat back support is missing the plug to close the inflation hole.
No inflation tube for the food pump.
A steal of a deal at 50 bucks; it’s “vintage”! :stuck_out_tongue:

How can it be inflated?

“Original” air. :slight_smile:

@rival51 said:
And on the classifieds here: https://paddling.com/classifieds/limited-edition-mad-river-explorer-this-is-a-royalex-classic-464603/?lat=41.3894&lng=-82.0191&zoom=10
Limited Edition Mad River Explorer!..this is a Royalex classic!
Some impressive “mouth watering” there.

I looked at that, but when I see someone jack the price up for more than it sold for NEW…Sorry, I don’t have “Stupid” on MY forehead!

Also, I’ve TWICE had boats of mine (the pictures) end up on Craigslist. Both times the add disappeared when I questioned the seller!

Here’s a good one that’s currently on local CL… this guy’s sales pitch needs as much work as the poor boat:

"Extensively repaired royalex Mad River Explorer including multiple repaired cracks in hull. I brought this boat back from the grave. All repairs by Trailhead. New end caps/deck plates and new gunnels. Needs new cane or webbing for one seat, will likely need new webbing for other seat soon. Comes with two nice paddles I bought new 2 years ago. Not a beautiful canoe obviously."

All for $650!