Wife for kayak

I’m looking for a wife for my kayak. I have five boats, but alas, I’m all alone :frowning:

I only need four boats, and I tried to sell the fifth on pnet last year but had no takers.

The boat is a Perception Shadow which is described in the catalog as a kayak for smaller paddlers or women. So since I’m stuck with the boat, I figured I might as well get someone who can use it.

I’m looking for a stable/fast woman that can carry a lot of gear and is an easy roller. I prefer something “low maintenance” that can handle some abuse (I like the rough stuff). Prefer something long and narrow rather than short and wide.

Any suggestions other than demo,demo,demo?

Rule of three F’s
If it floats, flies or f&*#s

it’s cheaper to rent.

Put the Shadow on Ebay with the condition that you come with it… On second thought maybe not a good idea…

Buy “Used.” NM

Already married

– Last Updated: May-19-06 10:19 PM EST –

But man I like your boats!!
Good luck finding your lady friend...though it sounds like you're looking for an Amazon woman. Thought about hanging out at some local rowing clubs? They can get some tall ladies there. I was always the shorty on my crew team. And yes, we actually would occasionally tip those boats to learn safety during race capsizes (re your easy rolling request). Good luck with your quest...and how nice of you to make do with only four boats!!

Get a dog…
…they’re cheaper and don’t care when you buy yet another boat, go out drinking with your paddling buds, or run around with other “rollers”. And the state won’t get involved if you decide to keep more than one.

Better yet, make that a stuffed toy dog - they don’t make messes either.


PS - Gutsy post considering the PC clientele on this board!

Sounds like a fine kayak
But I’d have to have something more before I’d trade my wife. Do you have a late model pick up or some cash you could throw in to sweeten the deal?

Your kayak needs a wife?
Maybe you should just get it neutered. Is it humping you?

How do you “fix” a Shadow?
Cut the rudder cables?

Now does age matter?
I’ve thought of getting a yak, now if I could just trade the wife for one. Hey, she’s still young, only 1 grandbaby. That would save me some cash. But it sounds like you want the yak for her to use.

Something in common…
… between women and kayaks:

“Stable” and “fast” rarely come in the same package.

Your post is like paddling on a
sea of sparkline wine …after sloshing through days of tepid Tab

Very funny, post of the month I believe.

Nothing like a good laugh in the morning :slight_smile:

Go Inflatable

My daughter wants to know what color is the boat and does it come with a graphite paddle

Just Put My Q600 On P.Net
She is for sale. I thought that she is not getting used enough and needs a new home. She is long and thin rather than short and stubby. She does enjoy rolling and playing in textured waters. But I have an idea she enjoys playing too much to settle down and become a wife.

Happy Paddling,


Tof five reasons dogs are better
1. A dog always wants to eat the same thing for dinner that you do.

2. A dog is happy to sit on the couch and watch football all Sunday.

3. If you come home late and drunk, a dog is still happy to see you.

4. If you lock your dog in the basement all day, he’s happy when you let him out.

5. To a dog, there’s nothing wrong with putting your nose in a stranger’s crotch.

The one who asked me if I knew of any single interesting male paddlers last week lives in Vermont.

Thanks folks
Thanks for the THOUGHTFUL/ sensitive replies. I actually had a wife for five years, but eventually, my kayak made me get rid of her… never said a word, but always gave me “the look” when I would leave her on the rack for the weekend to go shopping, honeydo list etc. I’ve done the dog/cat substitute thing and even tried an inflatable, but there’s this “emptiness” in the conversations (does that make sense?)

So, now that my relationship with my fleet is on calm water again, I’d like to take up “wifeing” again. The kayak seems to be agreeable (as long as it doesn’t get out of hand again.)

Thanks to those who offered helpful advice. To those who think this is a “fun” opportunity to display your wit at poor krousmon’s expense; “may your water become hard as a rock.”

Those gaping voids…

ah, how do you fill them

hee hee