Humorous Craigslist Ads

A few months ago I noticed a Hornbeck carbon 14’ solo canoe on CL in a town where a friend of mine lives, located a couple hundred miles from me. It was claimed to be in near pristine condition for only $400, about 1/5 of what it should be worth. I immediately called my friend to go see it. he confirmed it was in new shape with not a mark on it. The owner was in his driveway with his car fully loaded for immediate and permanent departure to Florida. My friend paid him $400 and I have the canoe in my garage now, still in pristine condition.

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I posted a couple of shots from the seller’s ad when I first discovered it. Here are some since I brought it home, patched it up and took it out. Per the 2004 Perception catalog archive it is supposed to weigh 50 pounds but both my step-on scale and hanging luggage scale peg it at around 45. They only made the composite Avatar in 2003 and 2004 (per S/N this one was ‘03) then did the RM version til 2009. 16’ x 22.5" with a skeg.

The two tone “fade” paint job (my school colors – Go Pitt!) includes glittery metal flake so it sparkles in the sun. Fits me like it was custom made. In fact the right foot peg is frozen in place in exactly where I need it to be (though it just needs some lubricant and a bit of coaxing, which worked on the left one.) The ratchets for the seat back won’t hold due to corrosion (a flaw in that era of Perception components was that they failed to use stainless on the buckles) but I plan to swap it out for a Seals lumbar band like in my SOF. For the time being I wedged the back in position by layering chunks of split pool noodle behind it. The back band will attach easily to the existing webbing grommets. I taped over the two minor crunches in the gel coat and it doesn’t leak (glass not breached). I already have two skirts, a nylon and a neo, that fit it perfectly.

Very pretty boat and a pleasure to launch and paddle:



!)

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Yeah, I’m keeping this one. Feeling a bit guilty because it is nearly the identical beam and cockpit size as her Riot 15 and would likely fit her. I may offer her one of my other boats though. (I had not yet offered to find her another kayak and she might not accept anyway.)

I am too infatuated with this kayak to let it go.

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And you picked it up for how much/little? Maybe time to go to confession and say a few Hail Mary’s. What is that thing on the deck behind the rear hatch?

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The gizmo on the stern deck is a reinforced fitting for running a security cable through, I have a similar one on my Venture Easky (recessed steel bar) and wish all my boats had something like that so I can lock them to the roof rack or other stationary object.

Poor person probably didn’t realize all the nice rivers he could have enjoyed that on down here.

Very snazzy boat and what a score! I love stories like this and yay for Tom at TopKayaker.

We of the water tribe absolve you of your guilt. Who among us could let go of such a perfect boat for ourselves? I say none. R’amen.

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I paid $300 for the kayak plus $80 for the pair of excellent US made new neoprene hatch inners. I also ordered new buckles and a ratchet strap from Tom, hoping i could rehab the corroded seat hardware - my bad for not inspecting the seat closer as it can’t be fixed without destroying it as they layered swaged grommets under the padding and fabric. I am going to send those parts back to Tom to restock since his archives are such a valuable resource.

The seller was a large lad Good Ole Boy with a burgher’s belly and I doubt he would have fit it nor been interested in doing so. Said it was his ectomorph younger brother’s boat which had been shipped from Monterey CA to Pittsburgh when the bro moved back east 10 years ago. Fedex inflicted the damage (3” surface gash at stern deck tip and a poke in the side that left a half inch gelcoat chip and a 4” spider web crack hairline radius.)

Fedex paid the owner a fat insurance claim and he never used the boat again. Fat bro asked skinny bro when he was going to get his junk out of his barn and pay back money he owed him and little bro said “sell it all and keep the money.”. I did ask him for S/N before I drove out to see it and did a stolen boat search (nothing turned up.). But there were still old Fedex labels that fit the time frame on it so the tale seemed legit.

I just realized the boat matches my royal blue and yellow drysuit! Won’t I look like swell (and rich) out in that combo. I got the used and otherwise pristine Kokatat GFER suit for $400 because the neck gasket was trashed - replaced it myself (which was a giant pain since it’s an older model where they recessed the gasket under a separate cowl flap that makes insertion of a stretching device for glueing problematic).

Over the winter I will work on restoring the kayak surface damage per advice that was generously shared here on another thread. For now the hatches are staying completely dry with clear FlexSeal tape slapped over the two dings.

I almost felt guilty enough to send the seller another C note. But he seems to be a pro “picker” and this was pure profit for him anyway. Instead I offered my email contact and told him if he ever comes across canoes or kayaks in his picking that I can advise him on value so he can set prices for resale. (heh, heh…)

“Distinguishing feature of this kayak is that it is blue. … Lord only knows its age.”

It’s a Perception Carolina and is probably OK … if they’d hosed it off and taken some pictures of it right side up they could probably have asked for more than $150 for it.

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I’ve never heard of this brand.

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That may be the ugliest canoe I have ever seen. :rofl:

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I want to email the seller: "Dear Sir/Madam: Your canoe is rumpled. "

Let me tighten this ratchet strap just a little bit more…

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Nowhere to store it? They can probably just fold it now.

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Academy sells new ones for $450. Without the wrinkles.

That looks to be in pretty good shape. My favorite Coleman was off on the rocks somewhere to the left of Double Hydraulic on the Lower Yough. I didn’t investigate further as I was otherwise occupied negotiating that rapid and river left isn’t exactly the ideal side to be on.

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It’s a kayak. Or maybe a canoe. Whatever it is, it’s big and he wants it gone.
This is the only photo.

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At least he knows it’s supposed to go in the water.

He’s dropped that “slightly bent” one to $75. Perfect for circular routes in small ponds…

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